Usually Sundays are a great day for TV. You've been relaxing all weekend and are probably still a little full from brunch when primetime rolls around. Regardless of the time of year, there's always something good to watch on Sunday nights. Mad Men, Dexter, The Walking Dead, The Good Wife, Revenge and of course, Breaking Bad, are just some of the shows you can choose from. Unfortunately, Sunday is using its TV epic-ness for evil instead of good this week—at least for those of us on the East coast.
The second-to-last episode of Breaking Bad will air directly opposite the 2013 Emmys, causing severe emotional distress for many eastern TV fans. After last week's episode that was so intense everyone's still talking about it, there's no doubt that Vince Gilligan has something even crazier in store for this week. Of course we want to know what happens... but we also want to know which of our favorite shows win Emmys. It doesn't help that Breaking Bad itself is nominated for eight awards and is likely to take home a few.
Here's your guide for how to simultaneously watch Breaking Bad and the Emmys, while avoiding spoilers for both as best as you can — it's not my fault if your friends are assholes.
Catch the Emmys' Opening
The Comedy Awards
Though we don't know what order this year's awards will be presented in, they've followed a similar sequence in the past few years. The Emmys usually start with the comedy categories, except for Outstanding Comedy Series. It depends on just how long everyone takes, but you should definitely be able to see who wins supporting actor and actress in a comedy series as well as best directing and writing for a comedy series. If everything stays on track, the lead actor and actress in a comedy series winners will be revealed in the first hour, too (and maybe the reality show categories, but do you really care?).
So don't worry, before Breaking Bad starts you'll know whether Modern Family stole all the trophies or if they went to the shows who actually deserved them (yeah, I went there).
The Hard Part
What was supposed to be an extremely difficult hour will now be an even harder 75 minutes, thanks to the news that the final two episodes of Breaking Bad will be super-sized. So from 9-10:15 p.m., you're going to have to be on top of your game. First thing's first, if you're watching Breaking Bad, you should probably commit to it. Missing one scene could screw up the rest of the episode for you. That being said, it might be best to stick to AMC, and check out the Emmys on CBS during the commercials. Usually, a commercial break is two minutes, so if you're serious about not missing any Breaking Bad, keep an eye on the clock.
Now, I have good news and bad news. Let's start with the bad. The first half of Breaking Bad will likely coincide with the drama series awards, and just like with the comedy series, it will be all of the categories except Outstanding Drama Series, which is always the last award of the night. Chances are if you like Breaking Bad, you'll want to see the categories it's nominated in, which will be occurring in the beginning to middle of the episode.
But now for that good news. Towards the end of the episode, when things will likely get super intense, the Emmys should be starting the many movie/miniseries categories. Unless you're super into American Horror Story or Liberace, this is basically the least important part of the night.
Of course, this all depends on when the special segments are added to the Emmys. One awkwardly placed tribute or special award and things could get messy. If you're really worried about missing the later drama awards or even miniseries, you could always watch up to a certain point of Breaking Bad, then finish it during the 11:45 p.m. airing. I am not liable if this causes a heart attack and/or mental breakdown.
The Social Media Dilemma
If you're anything like me, Breaking Bad and awards shows are two things that cause a lot of emotions, and you probably want to share them on the Internet. You can still do that, but you must be very, very careful. Here are a few tips, broken down by social network.
1) Facebook: Just skip it. I'm not kidding, do not go on Facebook. Chances are at least one of your friends does not understand spoiler etiquette and will ruin something from one of the shows for you. If you come up with a status so clever and important that you absolutely must post it, just post the status and close the page, don't scroll your newsfeed.
2) Twitter: Embrace the hashtag. While you're watching the Emmys, have Twitter open and just search #Emmys2013 or #Emmys or whatever the most popular tag of the night is. That way you won't inadvertently see a Breaking Bad spoiler if you're not watching it. But if you do start watching Breaking Bad, get out of that Emmys search, switch to a #BreakingBad one, and do a new #Emmys when you return to it later. The only way you'll have Emmys spoilers for what you missed then is if someone tweets about a show receiving their second award of the night, but chances are that'll be mentioned in the acceptance speech anyway.
3) Tumblr: Get Tumblr Savior. Any Tumblr user knows that there are magical .gif-makers out there who somehow turn a live show into a .gif in two minutes. If you want to be able to go on your dashboard without getting spoiled, download the free Tumblr Savior extension. It works on Firefox or Chrome (if you're not using either of these reevaluate your life), and lets you write a "blacklist" of tags you don't want to see. Simply add Breaking Bad or the Emmys to your blacklist, and any posts with that tag won't show up.
Watch the Biggest Awards of the Night
Luckily, the Emmys save the best for last. The second-to-last award will be Outstanding Comedy Series, followed by Outstanding Drama Series. If the Emmys actually stay on schedule, that'll happen a few minutes before 11 p.m., but they usually run late anyway. At least if all else fails, you can't be spoiled for the night's two most important categories.
Pass Out of Mental and Physical Exhaustion
It's been quite a night. You were probably horribly disappointed by at least one Emmy winner, and absolutely thrilled by another. Breaking Bad probably induced a panic attack and left you feeling very stressed. Go to bed. You only have one more week until the finale, which should cause enough emotional damage to last to next year's Emmys.