It is a universally understood fact that whenever guys try to talk about anything involving periods, they are bound to get just about everything wrong — though this doesn't stop them from trying. So imagining a tampon commercial written by clueless guys is enough to get you laughing all on its own. But thanks to NYU's sketch comedy group Hammerkatz, we don't have to imagine; they made such a commercial for us. And the results are glorious.
"It's literally impossible to know when your period will hit," the ad explains since of course the "all male advertising team at Tampax" has never heard of period-tracking apps or birth control. But whether you get your period "once a month, twice a month, 15 times a month, 100 times a day," they promise that their product will have you covered to scoop those blood-covered eggs back inside your body. Or whatever tampons even do. Is it something to do with keeping your vagina from getting cold? It's probably to do with keeping vaginas from getting cold.
I think the message is clear. When it comes to periods, guys should stick to looking vaguely uncomfortable about the whole subject and leave the revolutionizing of menstrual product advertising to women. We're better at it. Since, you know, we actually know what we're talking about.
Otherwise you wind up with women carting an entire purse bursting with tampons as her supply "for the week." To quote Sally Ride when NASA asked if 100 tampons would be the right number for her seven-day mission in space, "That would not be the right number."
Image: Светлана Фарафонова/Fotolia