17 'Clueless' Terms Translated Into Today's Slang, Because a Baldwin Doesn’t Make Sense Anymore
There isn't a movie that so perfectly defined '90s teen culture as Amy Heckerling's brilliantly crafted Clueless . With its airhead characters, obsession with outlandish fashion, and satirical tropes, the film only gets better with age. But undoubtably, the crowning achievement of this now-dated Emma iteration, is the dialogue. Roger Ebert's 1995 review of the flick described the diction as: “bubblegum hip-hop lingo," adding: “Amy Heckerling walks a fine line between satire and put-on, but she finds it, and her dialogue could be anthologized."
But for the uninitiated, a first-time viewing of the cult classic could prove confusing. Who is Betty, and what's a Monet? What about this Baldwin character? And are cake boys a slang term for caterers? Never fear, clueless Clueless-ians! As someone who has seen the film roughly 100 times, I'll lay out the basic lexicon of Cher, Dionne, and the rest of the crew's vocab, translated in today's vernacular.
Because as Murray so eloquently stated when probed by girlfriend Dionne about his slang: "Okay, but, street slang is an increasingly valid form of expression. Most of the feminine pronouns do have mocking, but not necessarily in misogynistic undertones."
Feminist Murray, #FTW !
Clueless Term: As If!
Definition: Yeah right
Today's Term: Bullshit, you wish, whatevs
Clueless Term: Audi
Definition: Out of here. Leaving.
Today's Term: Later!
Clueless Term: Baldwin
Definition: A hottie, studmuffin, extremely attractive male.
Today's Term: Gosling
Clueless Term: Betty
Definition: A gorgeous, beautiful, or stunning woman.
Today's Term: Babe
Clueless Term: Boinkfest
Definition: Sex, an orgy.
Today's Term: Bone
Clueless Term: Buggin'
Definition: To freak out, lose your cool about something
Today's Term: Trippin'
Clueless Term: Cake boy
Definition: A homosexual man
Today's Term: Gay, queer
Clueless Term: Chin Pubes
Definition: Facial hair, often on the chin region, aka a goatee or stubble.
Today's Term: Stache, Van Dyke, Manchu
Clueless Term: Doobie
Definition: Marijuana rolled in paper
Today's Term: Joint
Clueless Term: Hagsville
Definition: Gross, ugly, unattractive
Today's Term: Fugly
Clueless Term: Jeepin'
Definition: Having sex with someone who isn't your spouse, boyfriend, or girlfriend
Today's Term: Cheating
Clueless Term: Monet
Definition: Like the paintings, someone who appears attractive from a far, but up close is a "big old mess."
Today's Term: Butterface
Clueless Term: Phat
Definition: Awesome, amazing, incredible
Today's Term: Dope, Fresh
Clueless Term: Postal
Today's Term: Ballistic, Crazy, Psycho
Clueless Term: Stems
Today's Term: ...Legs
Clueless Term: Surfing the crimson wave
Definition: To be on your period
Today's Term: Aunt Flo, Shark Week
Clueless Term: Wiggin'
Definition: To freak out (similar to "buggin'")
Today's Term: Going batshit, trippin'
Images: Paramount Pictures; Giphy; Tumblr