Cristiano Ronaldo Has a Statue and That Statue Has An Erection (There's Really No Delicate Way to Say That) — PHOTO
Cristiano Ronaldo, is that a new statue or are you just excited to see me? Fans know that Real Madrid footballer Cristiano Ronaldo is never shy about showing off his beautiful body. His underwear ads for brands like Armani and CR7 keep the eye firmly trained on what may or may not be going on under his briefs. And now a recently erected statue in Portugal will give fans opportunities to stare at his crotch for generations to come. The statue, standing proudly at, ahem, attention in the beautiful setting of Ronaldo's home island of Madeira, appears to be sporting a pronounced erection. Fun!
Lest your imagination run away half-cocked, it's important to mention that the statue of Ronaldo is clothed, in what appears to be a very thin and very tight soccer uniform. Photos of the unveiling ceremony reveal Ronaldo posing next to his sculpted doppelgänger, his head floating dangerously close to the straining fabric of his statue's shorts. The 29-year-old forward appears to be almost excited as his statue, saying, "I never expected to have a statue in my life." Though known for his bulging ego (he once declared, "I am handsome, rich and a great player and people are jealous of me."), Ronaldo isn't too proud to pay his statue its due, deeming it "prettier than me," according to Spanish news agency Europa Press.
Honestly, this whole thing is so Cristiano Ronaldo. It's kind of perfect.