Books

How Harry Potter Can Make Being Single Not So Bad

by Hayley Mathis

Sometimes, being single is great... but sometimes, it's the worst. First, there are the sad looks that people give you when you don't have a plus one to bring to your sister's wedding (no, I don't want to invite that one guy who held the door for me at Starbucks that one time). Then there are the friends who insist on bringing their SOs everywhere (I didn't realize by "all-girls trip" you meant "all-girls and my boyfriend who can't sleep without me trip"). We live in a society in which you're considered a loser if you're caught eating alone in public. Apparently, it's frowned upon to order a five-course meal for just one person, but whatever.

But you know when being single doesn't suck? When you're a Harry Potter fan.

In J.K. Rowling's incredible series, she's brought us infinite wisdom — including, actually, why it's OK to be single. Seriously. If you pay close attention to the text, there are cues and snippets written just for us single people to make us chill in our situations. So, the next time you're feeling lonely because no one is around to sing "Don't Go Breaking My Heart" with you at karaoke night, you can always look to Harry Potter to make you feel better. These 8 quotes prove it:

"Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light."

Dumbledore is truly a wise man, isn't he? This memorable quote from Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban really highlights that. I've let myself get down about being single plenty of times. Sometimes it's easier to wallow in self-pity and mac 'n' cheese than to look on the bright side, amirite? But if I weren't single, then I wouldn't have had as much time to focus on my career, which I think is going pretty well. (After all, I am writing about Harry Potter right now!)

"For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also."

Although originally a passage in Matthew 6:21, this quote is also located on the graves of Kendra and Ariana Dumbledore, Albus Dumbledore's mother and sister, respectively. It says a lot in such a small number of words. Being single allows you to totally get at the stuff that you're really passionate about: Your treasure. For me, spending so much time on a job I love has also allowed me to become really good friends with my co-workers, and who knows what that could turn into in the future. And that's the way you should feel about your life, too.

"When you have seen as much of life as I have, you will not underestimate the power of obsessive love."

As a proud Slytherin, I value what Slughorn has to say, especially when it comes to potions. Although I've never used a love potion on a guy (that Romilda Vane is one sneaky brod), there have been times where I've changed who I was to get a guy to like me, whether that's pretending to play World of Warcraft or speak fluent Spanish — no joke. Let me tell you from experience that it doesn't work, and it's better to be who you are and single than to be someone you're not and in a relationship.

"Numbing the pain for a while will make it worse when you finally feel it."

Dumbledore strikes again! This time it's in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. I'll be the first to admit that it feels really, really good to drown my single sorrows in a pizza and a six-pack of beer, but what feels better than eating my weight in carbs and cheese is to embrace my singleness and make the most of it instead of trying to numb it.

“'Well? How was it?''Wet.'"

Who could forget Harry, Ron, and Hermione discussing his first kiss with Cho Chang in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix? Since I'm feeling particularly honest today, I'll let you know that I didn't have my first kiss until I was 16. Like Harry, some of us are late bloomers, but we'll always look back on our awkward first kisses with a smile.

"The thing about growing up with Fred and George is that you sort of start thinking anything's possible if you've got enough nerve."

As an identical twin, I relate to Fred and George more than other characters in the Harry Potter series. My sister and I are best friends, and she pushes me in all aspects of life. We all need someone like that. And although she's always been in a relationship and I've always been "the single one," the big thing I've learned from that dynamic is to not let the fear of embarrassment or rejection hold me back.

"Just because it’s taken you three years to notice, Ron, doesn't mean no one else has spotted [that] I'm a girl!"

I'm a sucker for the "best friends who are opposites but belong together" story, and Ron and Hermione's relationship is no different. I was best friends with my first serious boyfriend for about 10 years before we got together, so let me stress how important patience is! We may not be together anymore, but it is was the most influential relationship of my life so far. It's made me who I am as a dater now.

"There are some things you can’t share without ending up liking each other."

Technically this quote is referring to knocking out a 12-foot mountain troll, but I think it works when it comes to dating, too. I've started looking more closely at the people who share the ups and downs of life with me, particularly the men, and I've started seeing things in them that I never saw before. Perhaps one of them is more of a match for me than I originally thought.

While the Harry Potter series has brought a lot of magic into my life — and, oh, about a bazillion other people, too — it's also brought a lot of love. And we should all be grateful for that.

Images: Warner Bros.; Giphy