Confession: I kind of hate New Year’s Eve parties. Granted, I’m not really a huge party person in the first place — I find large crowds overwhelming, strangers make me nervous, and I always feel like the reality never measure up to the expectation — but New Year’s Eve parties in particular? They fill me with all kinds of fear and loathing. Happily, though, I’m not alone in my slightly horrified state of mind; comedians Tracy Soren and Jessie Jolles, who together make up the duo Soren & Jolles, are right their along with me — and their latest video, “An Honest New Year’s Eve,” proves it. The video’s title is as honest as its content, revealing what we’re all secretly thinking about all those NYE shindigs we said we’d go to. Anyone else having second thoughts about our Wednesday night plans this week?
Based out of New York, Soren and Jolles both trained at the Upright Citizen’s Brigade. They’re probably best known for their web series DIBS — but they’ve got plenty more up their sleeves beyond the misadventures of DIBS’ Emily and Joey. Case in point: This latest gem, which you can watch in its entirety by scrolling down. As true as it is hilarious, it depicts everything we’d admit to suffering through at every New Year’s Eve party we’ve ever been to — if, that is, we were really honest with ourselves. Here's what we'll all probably have to deal with on New Year's Eve yet again this year — and next year, and the year after, and the year after that, and...
1. All the girls will be wearing something from The Place Which Shall Not Be Named.
Yeah. That one. Also, you will be finding glitter in every orifice of your body for the next three months.
2. You will try to drink something that will probably leave you with unpleasant aftereffects.
There comes a point where one becomes physically incapable of drinking anything that was mixed in a plastic trash can. Such is the nature of growing older.
3. You will have to deal with this guy:
He means well, but sometimes you just want to slap him and tell him to chill the hell out.
4. You will look back at the previous year and wonder if you could have done more with it.
Nope. Totally fine.
5. There will be way too much of this going on:
But hey, at least they’re not vuvuzelas, right?
6. The countdown will never fail to underwhelm you.
Same bat time, same bat channel. Or something.
7. And you will not plan on staying a minute past 12:01, because of all this:
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.
Watch the whole video below, and check out more of Soren & Jolles over at their YouTube channel. How will you be ringing in the new year?