A friendship is like any relationship, it has its ups and downs. One moment you’ll be arm and arm with your bestie singing that one Carrie Underwood song together, and the next you’re engaging in a passive aggressive texting war. Having a true friendship that can withstand the test of time is golden. But how do you know when a rough patch in a friendship is just a mere patch? Maybe you both are trying to cover up a broken friendship with a band-aid, but what you really need to do is rip that band-aid off. Or, you two just need to nurse this friendship back to health.
Here are some things to consider when deciding whether or not a friendship is worth salvaging.
What is the history between you and your friend? Sometimes, we hold on to friendships because of their history. It’s hard to let go when you and a friend have known each other since you were in diapers. The longer the past between you two, the greater the future. With that being said, you can’t hold on to a friendship just because there is a long history. But if you two made it through rocky times together before, you probably have the ability to take on these rough waters ahead.
A Momentary Rough Patch
Does it feel like you and gal pal or guy friend are just going through a moment? Or does this feel like an entirely new chapter? You have to take the situation into account. For instance, is your friend going through a hard time and it’s affecting your relationship? Try to examine what’s really at hand before you decide to cut off the whole arm.
For long-term friendships, change is going to happen. Change isn’t easy for everyone and it isn’t always easy on a relationship. Sometimes people change, and that is okay. Sometimes you change, and that is okay. But can you two change together? A long-lasting friendship can withhold life changes. If it can’t, it most likely isn’t meant to be. Consider if your rocky friendship is due to changes, and if so, are they temporary changes or not.
A strong relationship has an even stronger foundation. Take a look at your friendship foundation. Is it sturdy and full of respect, trust and loyalty? Or is if weak with superficiality? If your friendship doesn’t have the essential nuts and bolts, you’ll find it collapsing right in front of your eyes. Over the years, you’ll need to survive storms, earthquake and maybe even some tornados together. If your "house" doesn’t hold up easily, maybe it’s time to move.
What Do You Get Out Of It
A friendship should be a give and take. If it’s all take, you need to give this relationship another look. Maybe it’s about time you really think about what you are getting out of this friendship. If it’s all one-sided, you’ll end up feeling exhausted and drained. You should be getting something out of this friendship, too.
Can You Even Salvage It?
Some things can be forgiven, like your friend losing your favorite leather jacket. But other things, like your friend hooking up with your ex, or your bestie spreading rumors and lies behind your back, can’t. Is your friendship even worth salvaging? Some lines can’t be crossed. If your friend has crossed that line, let him or her walk farther away. No need to look back.
Run Its Course
In your life, you’ll realize that some relationships just run their course. You’ve ended up at the finish line and there’s nowhere left to go. It’s not a bad thing or a good thing — it’s what happens. This can happen with a good friendship. You two have had your laughs, gotten over your fair share of fights, cried together, etc. But at the end of the day, you both are ready to move on. You’re on empty and there’s no gas left. It doesn’t mean it wasn’t a good ride at all.