This may sacrilegious to admit, given that it was a notably sans-Stassi episode, but Monday’s Vanderpump Rules was nothing short of wonderful. Would go to Miami with the SURvers again. And do you know who I’d definitely make sure is a part of this hypothetical next trip to South Beach? Vail. Yes, I know I reacted to her joining the cast like a mole rat reacts to light, but I was wrong. As it turns out, I am actually a seeker of light. And Vail is that light. Vail snooping through Kristen’s cell phone is the light I seek.
Was Kristen's "I'm going to casually mention James told me something is going down over at the guys' dinner, immediately excuse myself to the restroom, and conveniently leave my phone out on the table for anyone to snatch up" move in any way contrived? Listen, I'm not about to call anyone out. I'm not about to suggest anyone cast their cell phone out into the figurative ocean like the shiny lure that it was. I'm not about to accuse anyone in front of or behind the cameras of orchestrating the beautiful moment in which Vail read Kristen's text conversation with James about Miami and San Diego hookups aloud to a stunned table.
Honestly, I don't care how it happened. I'm just so glad it happened. I wouldn't trade that scene for the world. Who grabs someone's unattended cell phone and reads texts out loud and says she couldn't resist the glow of the phone? VAIL, that's who. The gall! So brave.
Never stop seeking that light, Vail. Never stop seeking that light.
Before I bid you adieu, I would like to discuss something else. (And no, it's not Tom Sandoval maybe-admitting to what Jax said went down during the last Miami trip. Unless it's a confession, IDGAF at this point. This has gone on too long.) (OK, that was dramatic. I still GAF. It hasn't gone on too long. I'm sorry for saying otherwise.) My cable provider gave me quite a scare Monday evening. For when I pulled up episode description for the latest Vanderpump Rules, this is what I saw:
As soon as I saw the words "manager" and "quits" next to each other, I was hit with a sharp pang of fear. Did Manager Peter quit? I wondered. NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO. What happened? What’s going to happen? Do I need to write a letter? I will write a letter if Manager Peter is no longer a part of the staff or the cast. Manager Peter is too important to— I took another look at the episode description.
OHHHHHHHHH. It’s a PUMP manager, not a SUR manager, I sighed. Sheesh. I feel like a real goober. Way to not read the ep descripsh, Rohwedder.
OK, fine. I’m not upset with my cable provider. I’m upset with myself. I’m the one who casually skimmed and jumped to dramatic conclusions, not my cable provider. This one’s on me.
Images: bricesander/tumblr; Kristie Rohwedder