14 Ways You Know It's the First Week of January at the Gym

You probably won’t be surprised to find that Google searches for fitness-related terms spike dramatically during the first few days of January. Getting into shape is one of the most popular New Year’s Resolutions around — but even if it’s pretty normal not to keep your resolution, you’d still best prepare yourself for the nightmare that the gym becomes right at the beginning of the New Year. The Daily Beast isn’t exaggerating when they call it “Gympocalypse.”

According to Twitter and Reddit, the following 14 signs are surefire indications that it’s the first week of January at the gym. Now, it’s true that some of them are a little… shall we say, negative in tone (Note: Interestingly, these ones largely hail from Twitter. Why so cranky, Twitter?) — but if you’re among those who are just starting to hit the gym for your New Year’s Resolution, don’t let those few negative voices deter you. First off, it’s awesome that you’ve made it a goal to get or stay healthy this year — you go, Glenn Coco! — and second off, anyone who gives you grief about it is likely to be in the minority. They’re also probably jerks, so you can go right ahead and ignore them — no one needs to waste their time on jerks.

It's understandable if you're a little disgruntled about how crowded the gym is right now, though (just as long as you don't take it out on anyone else). A whole lot of us are right there with you. And hey, at least you've got a no-fail way to know what the date is, right? Just go walk into a gym — if you spot one or more of these 14 signs, you’ll know it’s sometime during the first week of January. Problem solved!

1. You don’t recognize anyone else.

2. And they all look kind of nervous.

It’s OK to be new. In fact, it’s awesome to be new. If you’re worried about gym regulars looking down on you, A) they probably won’t, and B) just remember this:

3. Someone is curling in the squat rack.

I don’t lift weights, but from what I gather from Reddit, doing curls in the squat rack is one of the biggest gym etiquette no-nos in which you could possible engage. Here’s why, according to one Redditor:

Squatting in the curl rack, on the other hand, is perfectly acceptable.

4. You feel unfortunately like you’re at a free outdoor concert for every single person in the world’s favorite band.

5. Or like you’re Jennifer Lawrence:

That's not so bad, actually. You can take the opportunity to be all badass and pretend you just shot an arrow at Wes Bentley and the other Gamemakers. Sounds like fun to me!

6. It’s debatable which of these choices is the more financially sound one:

Mmmm. Bacon.

7. This is happening on all your social media feeds:

8. But there’s also a lot of this going on, which is pretty awesome:

Positivity! Yes! Good! Keep that going!

9. Your favorite machines are suddenly never free…

10. …And when you do finally get access to one, you realize that no one has been wiping it down after they finished with it for the entire day.

Blech. Hygiene, please.

11. This starts happening a lot:

Another gym etiquette faux pas to be avoided at all cost.

12. The locker room suddenly looks like a strange and alien planet.

According to an AskReddit thread, this Best of Craigslist post about the lamentable lack of locker room etiquette at an L.A. Fitness location should be required reading for anyone who plans on going to the gym at any point in their lives. Use it wisely, young fitness padawan.

13. You start having new and exciting business ideas based on what you’re seeing.

15. You feel super motivated.

Because everyone else is also super motivated. Workout buddies are the best!

Images: Fotolia; Giphy (8)