Listen: We need our Litchfield days back like Red needs her kitchen... or Lona needs her Christopher... or Maritza needs her pizza. A day without a new episode of Orange Is The New Black is basically a wasted day, and there are only so many times we can re-binge the past two seasons. So, Netflix, when are the new episodes of OITNB going to premiere, huh?
It's clear that the show was in production either just before, or during, the holidays — considering the ladies of Litchfield gifted us only the most glorious Christmas present, with their own rendition of "The 12 Days of Christmas." It might be a safe guess to assume that they have in fact wrapped for the season, since the cast seems to have dispersed all across the country (and world, in some cases). But, how about that premiere date, Netflix? Just wondering what the status is on that.
Recently, Netflix announced a bunch of premiere dates for their upcoming shows, which is basically like a whole second coming of Christmas. We learned about premiere dates for Daredevil, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, AND House of Cards. As for OITNB? Netflix gave us one word: "summer."
Hey, Netflix, do you realize how many days there are of summer? You could have at least clued us into the month. Some of us might need ample about of time to get in that vacation request, so we can stay up until midnight (if we live on the West Coast) or wake up at 3 am (if we live on the East Coast) to begin our third annual OITNB binge. Simply saying "summer" doesn't exactly give us a time frame, other than like a three month window as to when it could premiere. It could be June. Or it could be August. Did we do something to make you mad, Netflix?
Whenever the third season does come our way, it'll all upload onto the streaming site at the same time, thankfully, like it has in the past. The first season arrived on July 11, 2013. The second season was June 6, 2014. The third season will probably follow the same pattern, but we don't have that specific day yet. This is aggravating.
So even though we might not have a date penciled into our calendars yet, at least we have all the episode titles for the upcoming season. The first episode will be called, “It’s the Great Blumpkin, Charlie Brown." The third season will also include episodes titled, “Offended But Okay," “Heroin Robin Hood” and "Kids: Yum!" This is shaping up to be a great season already.
Image: Jessica Miglio for Netflix; Giphy