Non-Negotiables in Any Relationship

Let’s face it—relationships are all about give-and-take, and your love for your partner makes the compromise worthwhile. For any relationship to work and be successful, the two of you will need to compromise. It may be that your partner needs to work on cleaning up more around the apartment. Or perhaps you may need to put down that work phone of yours to make your lover happy. As a pair, you both will decide what you’re willing to do or give up for the other person.

That being said, there are things you should never compromise for a relationship. A line needs to be drawn, and I’m drawing a big ol’ line. While every person and every relationship varies, one thing is for certain — you don’t have to compromise everything. “Give and take” does not equal “give yourself, your dreams, and your personal rights up for your partner.”

Below are the eight non-negotiables in every relationship — no way, no how.


Being able to spend quality time with friends and family is essential. Feeling like you need to give up those bonds for the sake of your partner is not only extremely unhealthy but is also a giant red flag that you may be with a controlling and insecure partner. It’s one thing if your significant other feels that you put your friends and family over him or her, but it’s another when your mate requests that you never see them. When it’s the latter, I’ve got some simple advice for you — run girl, run. Values

Your Values

Everyone has their own set of values they have formed throughout their life. You shouldn’t have to change your values to fit someone else’s.


If you have always dreamed of having children and your partner can’t stand ‘em, you may have a big problem. Both of you need to be on the same page about this one. So, if you’re one of the people that already has their future children’s names picked out, you probably need to be with a partner who would put “wants children” on his/her OkCupid profile.

Your Passions

You should always be striving for the things you’re passionate about in life. And the person you are with should be supporting your goals and aspirations. Once you have to compromise your passions, you might as well be saying goodbye to the passion between you two.


There’s a damn holiday that celebrates independence, so naturally you shouldn’t have to compromise your own. A great part of being in a relationship is feeling like you are on a team, but you can’t lose sight of your own independence. The saying, “There’s no ‘I’ in ‘team’” doesn’t apply to relationships.


You shouldn’t have to give up your privacy just because you are in a relationship. You should have whatever privacy you desire. Whether that means private time to yourself or the privacy of your phone, computer, etc. — you don’t need to give that up.


Like they always said in school, safety first. Feeling safe and secure in a relationship is crucial. You should feel emotionally and physically safe, no matter what.


Equal isn’t just a packet of sweetener I like to put in my coffee. It’s also an important quality in a healthy and happy relationship. You shouldn’t have to negotiate your equality while being in a romantic partnership.

Images: vonderauvisuals/Flickr