Entertainment

What Job Will Teresa Have in Prison?

by Arielle Dachille

As we all know, this New Jersey housewife emeritus and malt beverage alchemist is basically living Orange is the New Black IRL as we speak. Teresa Giudice began her 15 month federal prison sentence on Monday, Jan. 5 at the Danbury women's correctional facility, which you may recognize as the real life version of the Litchfield Facility of OITNB. So much of prison social life seems to hinge on your work assignment, if we're to believe what TV tells us. This makes me wonder: what job will Teresa Giudice have in prison? Welp, if she has her way, the whole joint may be eating Skinny Italian specialties.

First of all, which jobs are there for her to choose from? Well, according to a forum of ex-inmates, the potential duties include "kitchen, orderly, painting and construction, workshop, yard worker and library or educational and some clerical positions." The RHONJ personality told her lawyer that if she got dibs out of all those choices, she's gunning for Red's job. "She indicated that if she had her choice to work she would like to work in the kitchen facility," lawyer James L. Leonard Jr. told E! News on Tuesday morning, 48 hours after Giudice's sentence began, "because she's obviously a good cook."

Well, everyone has a different palate, so while I remain skeptical about Giudice being an objectively good cook, we can objectively agree that she is responsible for multiple cookbooks and considers herself a master in the kitchen.

But before we start imagining Giudice as the grand dame of the industrial oven, let's answer the all-important question: can you choose work assignment in prison? I would imagine that work assignments would be just that: assignments given at random.

Whatever she ends up doing, it's pretty likely that Tre hasn't found out her prison duty yet. According to Wendy Feldman, Giudice's former legal counsel who served a 42-month sentence at an Arizona facility in 2006, inmates aren't given their jobs until after week one. "Once she has finished orientation the first week, she will be assigned a job," Feldman told People, "anything from working in the kitchen washing dishes to working in the bathroom cleaning stalls to doing landscaping or commissary work." So, this sounds like Giudice may just be given a job based on where she's needed, and not what she wants. Hey, may not be the worst thing for her, right?

However, a conversation between two ex-federal prison inmates indicates that there may be an element of choice involved. In a piece of advice one former inmate gives to another for staying fit during her sentence in the Prison Talk forum, the veteran says to "choose a job that involves physical labor." Just judging from what she says here, it's possible that ladies are able to indicate their preference with work assignments. Perhaps in the form of a survey? Although it's hard to tell from that tiny exchange.

So while there's always a possibility of Tre getting put on electric duty, I've got my fingers crossed for her to get her first choice. After all, I'm dying to read the cookbook that will inevitably come out of this situation.

Image: Reality TV Gifs (4)