We're almost at the end of the fourth season of American Horror Story and I'm as confused as ever. What does it all mean? Is anything that's happened really real? Is it all dreams and flashbacks? Does Elsa really get famous (no way, right)? What's even more perplexing is that the seemingly villainous Neil Patrick Harris character is just sad, instead of murderous, yet in the promo for AHS ' "Show Stoppers," it looks like he's about to saw Maggie Esmeralda — not the twins — in half for his act (it shows some other things, but they're mostly just images of NPH spliced because he's the best thing that's happening on the show right now). I'm sorry, but what? How did it get to that point?
First of all, the ending of "Magical Thinking" made no sense (I guess I shouldn't expect much from next week's either then, right?). Dandy, made jealous by hearing that Bette and Dot lost their virginity to Chester the travelling salesman, approaches Chester in the most decadent fur coat to ever hit primetime cable. He says a lot of menacing things, but ultimately it's Chester's living doll Margery who says she's going to make him saw Bette & Dot in half (aw, shucks, and just when they decided to stay sisters). Is this supposed to be Dandy's doing? As a punishment for the twins? If he can't have them, no one can? And also they have to stop being special?
OK. I guess that could be a thing. But how the hell does Maggie get involved. I guess sawing her in half would bring the season back to some sort of circle (Dandy did almost cut her in half back in Edward Mordrake times), but what did Maggie do to deserve this? Sure, she came to the camp with bad intentions, but then she cleared her name, she tried to help Jimmy, and she told the whole truth to the three-breasted lady. She doesn't really deserve to be put in the sawing box — and it's not like she's in an impossible situation the way Jimmy is and the box is her only way out. (And if that happens next week, I will stand in complete awe of the speed at which this plot twists and turns.)
All I'm saying is that once again, it looks like the end of another AHS season is veering into complete nonsense. But hey, it was fun flailing around all season, right?
Video to come.
Image: Michele K. Short/FX