By now I'm sure most of you have been made aware of the fact that Fifty Shades of Grey is officially rated R and not NC-17 like many of us may have originally assumed it would be. Now speaking on behalf of those who know all too well what takes place throughout this E.L. James series (and yes, that is my confession to having read the books, BTW), I was pretty shocked with the MPAA's decision. I mean, we're talking about a film whose novel counterpart made me blush on almost every… single… page. And we're talking about someone who does not blush that easily. But hey, that's bound to happen when almost every line is sexual in nature.
Did that stop me from reading it? Absolutely not. But it certainly made me much more aware of my surroundings. (Let's just say I kept my kindle pretty close to the vest during my subway commute.) So I guess the point I'm trying to make here is, how can we expect this film to be anything like the book if it's not going to take things to that next level of erotica? Of course, that's not to say that rated R movies aren't full of promiscuous activity as well. We all know that to be true. I'm merely pointing out that most of those instances don't involve such graphic S&M behavior and a Red Room of Pain. (I did enjoy how the film was described as containing "some unusual behavior" though. Talk about an understatement of epic proportions.)
So given this newfound piece of information, will this dialed back raunchiness make audiences more or less likely to go see the film in theaters? (You can be honest here, guys. This is a safe space.) Well, as it turns out, there are positives and negatives to both sides.
Pro: A Disguise Will No Longer Be Necessary
You know deep down you were already trying to decide which type of wig and sunglass combo you'd be wearing into the movie theater to buy your NC-17 ticket. Because, let's face it — some people were more than likely going to look at you like you're the creepy dude who just ducked behind the porn curtain at Blockbuster (if that were still a thing). No one needs to worry about that kind of judgment, so you may just be better off.
Con: Your Sex Ed Lesson Will Fall Slightly Short
Those of you who were hoping to get a few pointers on how to spice up your sex life may find yourselves a little disappointed given that the kink factor has essentially been knocked down a few pegs. I guess you'll just have to resort back to the traditional method of learning about sex: reading all about it on the sides of bathroom stalls.
Pro: Running Into People You Know Won't Be Quite As Embarrassing
Don't get me wrong, it'll still be super awkward and uncomfortable, depending on who it is. (Mom, Grandma, former teacher, etc.) But just take comfort in knowing that it could've been a lot worse.
Con: Far Less Jamie Dornan Nudity
We should've known back when Dornan revealed he wasn't going full-frontal in the film that things might've turned out this way. But that doesn't make it any easier to cope with. Our eyes will be severely missing out on what was sure to be a huge treat. (*Sigh*)