The chatter surrounding E.L. James' soft-core porn adaptation Fifty Shades of Grey to the big screen had all but stopped. With the summer's biggest adaptations and sequels — The Fault in Our Stars, Transformers 4, Guardians of the Galaxy — consuming our attention spans entirely, who had time to lament over what the first installment in the NSFW trilogy would entail? That is, until today, when the film was miraculously trending on twitter once again, thanks to a ceremonious unveiling of the trailer Thursday morning.
And while the trailer delivered sneak peeks to some of the book's most memorable scenes — the interview, the elevator kiss, the red room — we didn't see too much naughtiness unfold on screen. It's the trailer after all, and *some* things, at least until the film's Valentine's Day release, must be left to the imagination. So what will the feature film include? We know it has an R-rating, and inevitably certain scenes will be cut, but let's revisit the book's most titillating passages in the hopes they might be transformed for the film. Below are the 11 naughtiest passages from the book we need to see in the big screen adaptation.
1. Ana's first experience with leather
"At the touch of leather, I quiver and gasp. The shock runs through me, and it's the sweetest, strangest, hedonistic feeling."
2. Ana Giving Christian a Blow job
"I pull him deeper into my mouth so I can feel him at the back of my throat and then to the front again. My tongue swirls around the end. He's my very own Christian Grey-flavored popsicle. I suck harder and harder...My inner goddess is doing the Merengue with some salsa moves."
3. Christian teaching Ana to control herself
"You are very responsive. You're going to have to learn to control that, and it's going to be so much fun teaching you how."
4. Christian Brings Ice Cream into the Bedroom
"'We’re going to have fun, with food.' Very slowly, he peels off the lid of the tub and dips the spoon in... Holy cow. It’s cold, it’s hot, it’s tantalizing, but he doesn’t stop. He trails the ice cream further down my body, into my pubic hair, on to my clitoris."
5. Christian Lubing up Ana's Behind
"'I found some baby oil. Let me rub it on your behind.' Christian squirts baby oil into his hand and then rubs my behind with careful tenderness—from makeup remover to soothing balm for a spanked ass, who would have thought it was such a versatile liquid."
6. Ana's obsession with her own lips
"I know that lip is delicious, I can attest to that, but will you stop biting it?"
7. Christian Shaves Ana
"I gasp as he runs the lathered brush over my pubic bone. It’s warm. The water in the glass must be hot. [...] with a gentleness that surprises me, he runs the razor over my sensitive flesh."
8. Christian's sultry demands
"I want you ready and waiting in my playroom in 15 minutes."
9. Ana's First Experience with Vaginial Balls
"He holds out his hand, and in his palm are two shiny silver balls linked with a thick black thread … Inside me! I gasp, and all the muscles deep in my belly clench. My inner goddess is doing the dance of the seven veils."
10. Ana Wondering if Christian Will Fit Inside Her
"Suddenly, he sits up and tugs my panties off and throws them on the floor. Pulling off his boxer briefs, his erection springs free. Holy cow!...He kneels up and pulls a condom onto his considerable length. Oh no...Will it? How?"
11. Ana gets her period and Christian gives zero f*cks
"He reaches between my legs and pulls on the blue string… what! And gently pulls my tampon out and tosses it into the nearby toilet. Holy f--k. Sweet mother of all… Jeez."
In case you have yet to see the first full-length (my mind's still in the gutter) trailer, watch it below:
Images: Focus Features; Tumblr; Giphy