Do Women Ejaculate? They Sure Can, So Here's How To Try Female Ejaculation For Yourself

We at Bustle love giving you tips for how to tap into your sexual potential and troubleshoot when things aren’t going your way in the bedroom. But what about finding solutions to those stressful sexual health situations that inevitably crop up when you’re getting down? Emma Kaywin, a Brooklyn-based sexual health writer and activist, is here to calm your nerves and answer your questions. This week’s topic: female ejaculation.

Q: I’d like to learn more about how to achieve female ejaculation. I’ve never done it and I really want to, but I don’t even know if I’m capable. Can anyone do it? Are there certain circumstances that can increase your odds? And what is it anyway? Is it just a porn myth?

A: Anywhere between 10 and 69 percent of women report ejaculation during sex. But the research overwhelmingly shows that all women are physically capable of ejaculating. Some ladies discover it without meaning to, while others have to work for it.

Female ejaculate is the milky white substance that squirts out of your urethra before or during orgasm. It comes from your Skene glands, which live on either side of your vaginal opening, on the upper wall, near the lower part of your urethra. These glands are analogous to the prostate in men, leading some to call the Skene glands the female prostate. You can see a picture of these little glands here. (NSFW shocker.)

When you’re turned on, your ladyparts get engorged with blood (this is also what makes penises hard). Your G-spot gets enlarged, as does the tissue around your urethra. At this time, your Skene glands produce their ejaculate fluid. This fluid is pushed out through your urethra during orgasm contractions. And voila! Female ejaculation.

Knowledge is power, so let’s learn why and how the body does this fascinating thing so you can optimize your chances of experiencing the gush for yourself.

First ... Is There Pee in It?

Research into the ejaculate material has confirmed that it is distinct from urine — as in, it’s not pee, even though it comes out of your pee-hole. However, one very recent study (with an unfortunately small sample size of only seven women) found that for serious squirters, the more intense liquid outpouring comes from the bladder, but has traces of the Skene ejaculate.

Wait — so why isn’t it just pee then, if it comes from your bladder through your urethra? Great question!

Some women experience what’s called retrograde ejaculation. This is when your nether muscles clench post-orgasm, causing your ejaculate to travel back up your urethra and into your bladder instead of going out into the world to be free. There, it mixes with the natural contents of your bladder, picking up some urine components before exiting the premises. So, still ejaculate, since you’re ejaculating a material that is created from sexual pleasure, but also urine, because of many of its components.

Overall, there’s still a lot we don’t know about exactly how female ejaculation works or really even how to classify it (as coming or sexual urination). So if you’re a researcher, get on this!

How Can I Learn To Do It?

All folks with female reproductive organs have the physical capacity to ejaculate. However, most ladies have to teach themselves to do it. If it's something you want to learn to do, here are some practical and fun steps to take.

Build Your PC Muscles

As with most things related to having spectacular sex, having strong PC muscles is extremely helpful. So do your kegels! I like to do mine when I’m waiting for the subway … nothing else is going on then anyway.

Prepare Your Space

Ejaculating can get messy, so throw a towel over your bed if you care about that sort of thing. Otherwise, make your space sexy. Whether you’re checking this out on your own or with a lover or three, some candles or mood lighting never hurt anyone.

Empty Your Bladder

As I’ve mentioned, ejaculatory fluid is distinct from urine. However, particularly when you’re learning to ejaculate, it’s a good idea to empty your bladder before you start, so you’re not worrying that you may accidentally be peeing.

Get Turned On

It almost goes without saying: you need to be aroused to ejaculate. So do whatever you usually do to get your head in the game. If you’re rolling solo, check out some erotica or porn and/or grab a favorite toy. If you’re with a lover, initiate foreplay!

Get Involved With Your G-Spot

Female ejaculation is very tied to your G-spot, which is located on the upper wall of your vagina. If you need help finding this sweet spot, read this guide. Relax, get down with your G-spot, and every once and a while flex your PC muscles, like you are going to pee (don’t worry, you won’t!). This rhythm will build your ejaculate fluid — but it can take a while. Most guides say to get down with some G-spot stimulation for around 30 minutes.

Orgasm

Do whatever it is you do to stimulate your body to orgasm. Since you’ve built up all that ejaculatory fluid with your G-spot stimulation, it may feel like you are about to pee, but relax and keep going. Remember that if you clench down on your PC muscles when you’re coming, which most women do naturally, you’re more likely to send your ejaculate up into your bladder instead of letting it out of your body. So relax! You can also try pushing out with your PC muscles when you’re coming, to help eject your ejaculate out of your Skenes glands.

How Do I Know It’s For Real?

How do you know if you’ve ejaculated? Unfortunately, unless you’re a gusher, it can be hard to tell. You may be ejaculating, but not enough to really notice. Sex is pretty juicy, and researchers posit that ejaculate often gets mistaken for vaginal lubrication or male ejaculate, if present. Alternately, if you’re a retrograde ejaculator, you may be ejaculating but not seeing the fruits of your labor, as it were, because they’re going … well … up.

If you really want to know what’s going on, the best thing to do is check out your liquid. As you may or may not have noticed, your usual vaginal fluid has different consistency, taste, smell, and color based on a number of things, including where you are in your menstrual cycle, what foods you’ve eaten, whether you are struggling with a vaginal infection like a yeast infection … and the list goes on.

In contrast, your ejaculate is way more stable. It’s always a milky watery fluid that’s described as sweet smelling. So if you’re interested, check yourself out after the afterglow has worn off. Or ask your lover to do it for you. It’s all in the name of science!

The Bottom Line

Sex is exciting, and I’m all for having the broadest diversity of sexual experiences you feel comfortable checking out (and even pushing those limits a bit in a safe and supportive environment, because you don’t know what you like until you check it out, right?). For many women, female ejaculation is an elusive goal we’d love to experience if we haven’t discovered it already. You now have all the information you need to go forth and practice, practice, practice to get your sexy flow going.

Just one word of warning: when it comes to sex, trying too hard can backfire. Remember that the key to great sex is being relaxed. Pressures associated with trying to achieve a certain goal — in this case, ejaculation — can result in frustration and loss of that good sexy feeling that comes with being confident and excited. So my advice to you is chill out. Chances are, now that you know what you’re looking for and how to get there, you’ll be gushing before you know it.

Images: Giphy