In the months that have passed since the fourth season finale, Jasmine has gotten very, very pregnant. As she and Crosby shop for a car seat, she goes into labor three weeks early. She delivers a beautiful, deceptively pale little girl: "She's so cute!" "She's so... white!" The new parents still haven't chosen a name, first or last (Trussell-Braverman? Braverman-Trussell?), when the family welcoming committee rolls in with casseroles to bake and fruit salad to dish out.
Kristina is feeling amazing, as amazing as only the news that you're cancer free can make you feel. Also, her hair looks great. Sketchy politico Bob Little stops by the house to ask her to run his mayoral campaign, with a special focus on education. She's thrilled by the chance to have an influence on policy, but Adam discourages her from working for such an unsavory character. Well, carpe diem—Kristina decides to run against Little herself. She'll have her cake and eat it, too. Man, this cake tastes good.
Max bonds with Sarah's ex-boyfriend Hank, back from Minnesota (yay!), over photography. Ray Romano, you were too good last season for us to actually let you leave. Hank sees talent in Max's shots of bugs and lizards, but encourages him to turn the camera on people, because they actually pay to have their picture taken. Adam suspects Hank might be spending time with Max in the interest of getting back together with Sarah, but as long as his son is happy, does it really matter?
Sarah and Amber are both feeling distant from the most important dudes in their life: new-to-college son Drew and enlisted boyf Ryan, respectively. Though Amber can occasionally Skype with Ryan—always great to see Luke Cafferty, East Dillon's cutest farm boy slash running back—the video quality is poor and he can't tell her where he's stationed. In a classic freshman move, Drew is now communicating with his mother almost entirely via !!!Emoji.
Julia finds that landing a new job is tougher than she anticipated. Fortunately, Joel's landed a lucrative building contract—though Julia's slightly taken aback when the developer who hired him proves to be an attractive British woman.
Crosby and Jasmine's nerves are increasingly frayed as bread burns in the toaster, the nameless baby keeps crying, and nobody gets any sleep. "I'm sure you're going to be the best thing that ever happened to me someday," Crosby tells his daughter, "but right now I really hate you."
But it gets better. Jasmine suggests Aida Braverman for the baby's name, to Crosby's delight. Drew swings by his mom's place with pizza. Home for a short visit, Ryan proposes. Amber tearfully accepts.
Amber, girl, I'm happy for you and everything... but is this really the best idea?
Image via NBC