Sometimes life isn’t always butterflies and roses. We wish it would be, right? You finally meet the perfect mate and everything is going well. There aren’t any red flags. Things are easy and it all seems right. After a while you decide it’s time for your friends to meet your significant other. That’s when life gets in the way of your picture perfect story and BOOM, your friends and your partner don’t get along.
What are you to do in this tricky scenario? Of course, you want your lover and your best friends to get along swimmingly. But what happens when they just don't mesh well? Your friends are a big part of your life and so is your partner. You want your two worlds to become one. And when that doesn’t seem to be going in that direction, which way do you turn?
We’ve all been in sticky situations before, but this one is a doozy. It’s a hard and complicated road to navigate. So put your seatbelt on, it’s bound to be a bumpy and uncomfortable ride.
Here are all the things to consider when your significant other doesn’t like your friends.
What Is The Reason Behind It?
In order to figure out the solution to this problem you need to know the whole problem entirely. What is it about your friends that your partner doesn't enjoy? Does he not like them because of how much time you spend with them? Does he not like their personalities? It is their influence on you that your partner doesn’t prefer? In order to fix this puzzle, you are going to need to know where all the pieces lie.
One thing to think about if your significant other doesn’t like your friends is jealousy. If your partner is jealous of the time you spend with your friends, you have got two things on your hand. Either you have gotten yourself in a relationship with a possessive person, or you are literally spending more time with your friends than your lover. If it’s the latter, you know how to fix that. But if it’s the first option, this is a serious red flag. I suggest putting down that flag quickly and making a run for it.
Time To Reevaluate Friendships
There is a possibility that your boyfriend/girlfriend is seeing something about your friends that you aren’t. Maybe it’s time to reevaluate your friendships. If your partner is suggesting that your pals aren’t necessarily the best kind of people to surround yourself with, you might want to give this some thought. I’m not saying throw your friends out the window, but if your gut is saying your lover might be right, look into it more.
What Do You Say About Your Friends?
You know when you come back from a girls’ night out and you go on and on about your friends? Well maybe you got caught up not saying the nicest things. It’s possible that after your mate constantly hears these stories about your friends, he or she has formed quite the judgement. If you only discuss how Lacy keeps cheating on her girlfriend and how Laura can never be happy for you, then it makes sense your partner isn’t going to have the highest opinion of them. Words are powerful, remember that.
Give It Time
They say, “Time heals all.” That might be the best option in this case. Maybe it was just a bad first impression or they just didn’t click right away. Whatever the situation may be, sometimes time is all you need. Things have a way of working themselves out.
Hear Both Sides
There are two sides to every story, and it’s crucial you listen to both sides. If you just listen to your partner, you won’t see where your friends are coming from. Both parties are important to you, so let their voices be heard.
Have Them Talk It Through
If the circumstances feel right, you might want to have your significant other talk things through with your friend(s). This might be a good idea if they had one fight that they haven’t resolved. Sometimes, the only way to get over something is to go through it. This means a talk is needed. It’s probably best if you aren’t there for this discussion and let them be on their own.
Work Around It
If you’ve tried every other option and nothing seems to work, you might have hit a dead-end. Not everyone is meant to be friends, and that’s okay. Even though it makes your life more difficult, it is still manageable. As long as your partner and your friends are friendly and nice to each other, you can make do. You have some extra work to do and will need to make separate time for your romantic partner and your friends.
Images: Raul Lieberwirth/Flickr