Life

This Bacon Spread Is EVERYTHING

You guys. Bacon spread exists. This is not a drill. Bacon spread exists, and it is the most wonderful invention the culinary world has ever seen. It’s also proof that, in spite of occasional cries of “Not more bacon!”, we have not, nor never will, get over our cultural obsession with crispy, crunchy, salty, delicious pork strips. Just sayin’.

Food Beast stumbled upon this glorious creation during this year’s Fancy Food Show — and after reading their report, obviously I had no choice but to embark on a quest for more information about it myself. The spread seen here is from company simply calling itself The Bacon Jams; they successfully Kickstarted themselves back in the fall of 2013, and almost a year and a half later, I think it’s safe to say that they delivered on their promises: Each jar of The Bacon Jams’ spread includes a whopping half a pound of bacon. Half a pound. Wrote Food Beast’s Peter Pham, “The ratio between bacon chunks to actual jam is so generous, it’s like they threw gourmet candied bacon into a blender.” I’m drooling right now, in case you didn’t notice.

Anyway, they currently offer three permanent flavors (original, black pepper, and red chili & garlic); it looks like they occasionally put out limited edition flavors, as well, although the most recent ones — maple habanero and pineapple pepper — are sold out. Ah well. With luck, there will be more new and unusual flavors later on.

To be fair, the folks behind The Bacon Jams aren’t the only ones to have thought, “Gee, I really wish I could spread some bacon on my toast” and then made that dream become a reality; the Seattle-based Skillet Street Food also sells a bacon spread called (appropriately) Bacon Spread. You could also try making your very own bacon jam, too — I’m too scared of the canning process myself (what if the glass jar shatters when you submerse it in boiling water???), but Leite’s Culinaria and Cravings of a Lunatic both have promising looking recipes. Have fun stormin’ the castle.

In any event, do you have any idea how many things I would like to put bacon spread on, in, or around? The correct answer, of course, is all the things — but to keep it simple, I’ll settle for trying just a few of them first before going totally hog wild (see what I did there?):

1. Inside Filled Cupcakes

Filled cupcakes are actually incredibly easy to make: All you have to do is cut out a little cone from the top of your cupcakes once they’re baked, fill ‘em with whatever you want, and then pop the cone back in the hole before you frost them. My birthday is in two months, and I'm definitely having bacon-filled cupcakes to celebrate.

2. Inside Grilled Cheese

Jam is awesome in grilled cheese; bacon is awesome in grilled cheese; ergo, bacon jam would be unflippingreal in grilled cheese. QED.

3. As a Glaze on Holiday Ham

Bacon-glazed ham: Double your pork, double your fun. Or something.

4. On Top of Pancakes

Or waffles, or French toast, or whatever.

5. As a Dip for Slices of Melon

Maybe it’s not as classy as prosciutto-wrapped melon, but it’s probably just as tasty.

6. Rolled Up Inside Cinnamon Rolls

Like this bacon hack, only (potentially) better).

7. Inside Sushi

My SO got me sushi-making equipment for Christmas this year, and I’m slowly but surely getting the hang of how to make a decent maki roll (which is not, incidentally, what this turtle is trying to eat here, but whatever). The best part? There are no rules — when you’re the one making it, you can put just about anything inside. Bacon sushi FTW.

8. In the Crock Pot with Whatever Else You Happen to Have in Your Fridge

What makes most Crock Pot recipes so awesome is that they’re incredibly adaptable. I don’t think I’ve ever followed any single Crock Pot recipe I’ve made to the letter; usually I toss in whatever else I happen to have around in there along with everything else (a lone potato in my white bean soup? Sure! Black beans and frozen corn along with my Tex Mex chicken? Why not!). For that reason, I feel like bacon spread plus a few chicken breasts slow roasted in your Crock Pot for six to eight hours would probably be a winning combination. Anyone else?

9. On a Burger

Duh.

Images: Giphy (9)