John Boehner's Taylor Swift GIF Email Is Not Only Real, It’s Spectacular
John Boehner, the U.S. House Speaker and resident Mr. Grumps, is known for his often-vehement criticism of much of what President Obama says and does — on immigration, Obamacare, executive overreach, you name it. While his public displays of disdain have become somewhat of a staple on Capitol Hill, the House Speaker seems to have found a more Internet-friendly method of conveying his thoughts. On Friday, reporters received surprise emails from Boehner on Obama's community college proposal, Taylor Swift GIFs enclosed.
No, you didn't misread that. Boehner's office curated the choicest T-Swift GIFs that it included in the BuzzFeed-style list addressing Obama's recent proposal on free community college for those willing to work for it. Succinctly entitled "12 Taylor Swift GIFs For You," the email, also published as a blog post on the Speaker's website, is broken down into 12 points, each accompanied by a snazzy GIF of the mildly annoying and petty Swift.
Last week, President Obama announced his latest idea to provide "free" community college to millions of Americans. It sounded exciting at first…
<img alt="" src="http://speaker.house.gov/sites/speaker.house.gov/files/PHOTOS/2015/GIFs/TSwift-Excited-1.gif" class="article-body-image" title="Image: http://speaker.house.gov/sites/speaker.house.gov/files/PHOTOS/2015/GIFs/TSwift-Excited-1.gif"/>
2. But then, we got to thinking…
<img alt="" src="http://speaker.house.gov/sites/speaker.house.gov/files/PHOTOS/2015/GIFs/TSwift-Thinking-2.gif" class="article-body-image" title="Image: http://speaker.house.gov/sites/speaker.house.gov/files/PHOTOS/2015/GIFs/TSwift-Thinking-2.gif"/>
3. Free?! Is he using magic money? Nothing is free. So we did a little math.
<img alt="" src="http://speaker.house.gov/sites/speaker.house.gov/files/PHOTOS/2015/GIFs/TSwift-Studious-3.gif" class="article-body-image"/>
4. Turns out…when President Obama said "free" what he meant was "60 Billion dollars over 10 years." Not even all the Taylor Swift album sales in the world would cover that bill.
<img alt="" src="http://speaker.house.gov/sites/speaker.house.gov/files/PHOTOS/2015/GIFs/TSwift-Confused-4.gif" class="article-body-image" title="Image: http://speaker.house.gov/sites/speaker.house.gov/files/PHOTOS/2015/GIFs/TSwift-Confused-4.gif"/>
5. Still, 60 billion dollars is a lot of money...you can't just shake it off.
<img alt="" src="http://speaker.house.gov/sites/speaker.house.gov/files/PHOTOS/2015/GIFs/TSwift-Shaking-5.gif" class="article-body-image"/>
6. And the president knows full well there’s no blank space in the taxpayers' checkbook.
<img alt="" src="http://speaker.house.gov/sites/speaker.house.gov/files/PHOTOS/2015/GIFs/TSwift-Tree-6.gif" class="article-body-image" title="Image: http://speaker.house.gov/sites/speaker.house.gov/files/PHOTOS/2015/GIFs/TSwift-Tree-6.gif"/>
7. Does that mean he intends to try to pay for his "free" plan with a tax increase on millions of Americans?
<img alt="" src="http://speaker.house.gov/sites/speaker.house.gov/files/PHOTOS/2015/GIFs/TSwift-Bezerk-7.gif" class="article-body-image" title="Image: http://speaker.house.gov/sites/speaker.house.gov/files/PHOTOS/2015/GIFs/TSwift-Bezerk-7.gif"/>
8. Or does it mean he wants to pile up more debt on the very young people this idea is supposed to help?
<img alt="" src="http://speaker.house.gov/sites/speaker.house.gov/files/PHOTOS/2015/GIFs/TSwift-Basketball-8.gif" class="article-body-image"/>
9. Even then: college STILL wouldn’t be free – there are all kinds of other fees and costs – not unlike all the higher costs we’re seeing in this tough economy.
<img alt="" src="http://speaker.house.gov/sites/speaker.house.gov/files/PHOTOS/2015/GIFs/TSwift-Crying-9.gif" class="article-body-image" title="Image: http://speaker.house.gov/sites/speaker.house.gov/files/PHOTOS/2015/GIFs/TSwift-Crying-9.gif"/>
10. Wait, wouldn’t it be better if we just worked together to lower costs for folks across the board and improve our children’s education?
<img alt="" src="http://speaker.house.gov/sites/speaker.house.gov/files/PHOTOS/2015/GIFs/TSwift-Applause-10.gif" class="article-body-image"/>
11. Looks like an apology is in order, Mr. President…
<img alt="" src="http://speaker.house.gov/sites/speaker.house.gov/files/PHOTOS/2015/GIFs/TSwift-Sorry-11.gif" class="article-body-image"/>
12. We're not mad. We're just disappointed.
<img alt="" src="http://speaker.house.gov/sites/speaker.house.gov/files/PHOTOS/2015/GIFs/Taylor-Disappointed-12.gif" class="article-body-image"/>
BONUS GIF: Thank you for reading.
<img alt="" src="http://speaker.house.gov/sites/speaker.house.gov/files/PHOTOS/2015/GIFs/TSwift-Thanks-Final.gif" class="article-body-image" title="Image: http://speaker.house.gov/sites/speaker.house.gov/files/PHOTOS/2015/GIFs/TSwift-Thanks-Final.gif"/>
Touché, Mr. Boehner. I see what you did there, comparing the seemingly exorbitant cost of free education for hardworking citizens that could result in a huge, long-term boost to American education levels and the U.S. economy, as well as build a more informed, engaged population, to one pop star's album sales in an industry shifting towards online streaming — yes, very clever indeed.
Although I'd venture to say that the Speaker didn't spend his Thursday night huddled in front of the computer, scrolling through Tumblr in search of these GIFs, I have to admit it's pretty bemusing to think that the typically-sullen lawmaker — seriously, check out at all the times he looked like he literally just buried a body — would have had to approve this T-Swift laden listicle before it was posted on his website and subsequently emailed to reporters.
While it's definitely not Boehner's staff's first attempt at using GIFs to deliver the Speaker's message — Shark Week GIFs for the GOP's Jobs bills and How I Met Your Mother GIFs explaining the U.S. Budget process — this is hands down their best crack at it.
Seriously, though, kudos to his staff Caleb Smith and Mike Ricci for a truly A+ effort at what I am sure will make many people's day — they've definitely accomplished what they set out to do, judging by their Tweets.
Now, how about a response from the Obama administration, who would surely have an abundance of GIFs to choose from of the many people with whom Swift has had beef?
Image: Getty Images