Faking Your Death To Get Out Of A Date Is Perhaps Not the Simplest Way To Tell Someone You're Not Interested
Getting out of a bad date can be tricky, especially if the person you're trying to break up with just won't take no for an answer. Most of us, however, probably wouldn't go as far as this UK woman did: She actually faked her own death to get out of a date with a guy she didn't want to see anymore. I am not kidding. Naturally, the story in question is going viral right now, because of course it is. Such is the nature of crazy dating stories and the internet, right?
It's probably worth noting that this saga whole hails from the British tabloid the Mirror; a few days ago, they challenged their readers to write in with a bad date story that was worse than one recounted in a recent AskReddit thread (for the curious, it involved incredibly spicy hot sauce and a call to the paramedics. No, it did not end well). 29-year-old Ann-Marie Gray, who lives in Somerset, obliged them with this little tale of misadventure and woe — and you guys? It's nuts. So nuts that it might well be a hoax, but for now, I'm going to take it as real unless proven otherwise. Here's how it went down.
Gray had gone on three dates with a guy she met on an online dating site when she decided that she just wasn't interested in continuing the relationship; unfortunately prior to realizing that she wanted to end it, she had already made vague plans to have him over for dinner at some point. She did the honorable thing and let him down gently, though, which really should have been the end of it: Yeah, it sucks making plans for a date, only to have the person with whom you thought things were going so well break it off — but better to find out sooner rather than later, right?
Aaaaaand this is where it starts getting weird. Although part of me feels a little bad for him, the guy does sound like the kind of person you really wouldn't want to date in the long term: Gray said that she flat-out told him it wasn't working for her, and yet he continued to bombard her with messages anyway — including one that read, "I think we need to have a date tonight! I will be around your house in 30 minutes." That? Is definitely not OK. If someone says they're not interested in dating you, you don't get to decide that you're going out on a date anyway. As such, I can understand why Gray would be willing to go to such lengths as we're about to see in order to shut him down. Someone who won't take "no" for an answer is not only creepy, but — worse — threatening. Putting your own safety first is obviously of the utmost importance.
So Gray did the only thing she could think of: She sent the text message seen below to the guy. You can see the actual screenshots over at the Mirror:
"Hi there, this is Ann-Marie's sister, I am really sorry to tell you but she was taken into hospital last night with a very serious illness, so she won't be available for a while. Sorry about that, if or when she comes around and is feeling better I will get her message to you."
Knowing what we already about this dude, though, you can probably imagine how he responded, right? Yep: He wrote back, "OK thanks what ward is she on I will come and visit her now!" (And yes, the lack of punctuation is verbatim).
Gray continued trying to stall him, telling him that they were "only letting family in at the moment" and that she'd keep him posted about when they were allowing friends... but then he showed up at the hospital anyway. "I am outside the hospital now can I come in if you tell me what ward she is on?", he wrote.
So she followed it up with this:
"I am really sorry to tell you but we lost her last night."
Is anyone else hearing crickets chirping in their heads right now?
He didn't reply again after that — but he did eventually catch her in her lie: He spotted her on the dating website on which they had first met a few months later. Gray said, "He sent me a horrid message!" but also noted, "Can't say I blame him, really." At least she realized it was sort of a shitty thing to do, although again, given his alarming behavior, I can understand why she did it.
So: What can we take away from this whole debacle? A few things, and on both sides, at that.
If You're in the Stage Five Clinger's Position:
This one's a biggie: If someone says they're not interested in continuing a relationship with you, you have to accept it and move on. Your desire to see someone does not trump their desire not to see you. You can't make someone date you — and besides, would you really want to date someone who you know doesn't actually dig you? You're better off with someone who's honestly into you. Also, if someone tells you not to come over, don't go over there anyway. It shows an extreme lack of respect for other people's wishes and boundaries. Not so good.
If You're in Ann-Marie Gray's Position:
DO break up with people you don't want to date.
DO seek help if you feel unsafe and/or if the person you broke up with won't leave you alone.
DO continue to put your safety first.
Anyone have any other lessons to add?
Images: Fotolia; Giphy (3)