It's a commonly known fact that celebrating Valentine's Day when you're single takes on an entirely different meaning. It's no longer about free chocolate, and no one is giving you a cute little valentine with a cartoon on it because they have to, like in middle school. Even the happiest single people can have a hard time dealing on February 14, when they're constantly reminded that they aren't in a relationship.
In 2015, Valentine's Day seems to be even more difficult. Thanks to social media sites like Instagram and Vine, we have to not only hear about the gifts all of our coupled up friends got, but we also have to see pictures and videos of every detail of the day. Aw, your boyfriend bought you $65 worth of roses and a box of Godiva chocolate! How original!
Not to sound cynical or anything, but give me a break here... being unattached on V-Day is exhausting. Besides the barrage of heart-shaped candies and the pink and red colors that are literally everywhere, you also have to deal with the absurd things people feel the need to say to you. It doesn't matter if it's coming from a family member, a close friend, or a random acquaintance, no one wants to hear the following phrases, least of all on February 14. Do yourselves a favor, and don't say these 15 things to any single person you know on Valentine's Day. The only appropriate thing you can say: Want another glass of wine?
1. "Valentine's Day isn't even that great anyway. Honestly, you're better off."
Please don't patronize me. I'm not a child.
2. "I just don't even get how you're still single."
I know, right? I don't get it either, but here we are.
3. "Are you excited for Valentine's Day?"
Um, not really. Should I be? Do you know something I don't know? Is this your idea of a funny joke?
4. "Ugh, do you totally hate Valentine's Day?"
You know what I totally hate? Talking about Valentine's Day incessantly up until Valentine's Day.
5. "Oh, you're single? So what are you doing on Valentine's Day then?"
Uh, I don't know. Treat it like any other day of the year?
6. "You should try to find a date!"
Wow, great idea! I never thought of that!
7. "Do you like being single?"
Do you like being annoying?
8. "Wait, whatever happened with so-and-so?"
Thanks for bringing that up right before the day I'll be thinking about it most.
9. "When was the last time you had a date on Valentine's Day?"
When was the last time you considered someone else's feelings?
10. "OMG look what my boyfriend bought me. Isn't he amazing?!"
Yes, very sweet. So adorable. I'm happy for you, honestly I am, but do you think maybe for just one day you could keep it to yourself?
11. "Oh, don't worry, it'll happen for you one day when you least expect it."
Wow. Never heard that one before.
12. "Ugh, you're lucky. I wish I was single and didn't have to spend all this money."
It must be so hard to voluntarily buy someone you love gifts knowing you'll be getting gifts in return. Really, I feel sorry for you.
13. "Next year will be better for you, I just know it!"
That's so crazy that you can predict the future like that.
14. "OMG don't sit home alone. You should go out anyway!"
With who? And do what? Also, can you let me live?
15. "Have you thought about downloading Tinder?"
Have you thought about minding your own business?
Images: Valentine's Day/Warner Bros.; Giphy