The Latest in Fraternity Horror Stories

It seems we can’t go too long without another fraternity horror story popping up. This time, MSU frat Pi Kappa Alpha found themselves in hot water when a video of a seemingly intoxicated girl performing oral sex on a guy while he repeatedly asks her, “What’s the best fraternity at MSU?” made its rounds on the internet. The girl at first doesn’t answer, and after being prompted multiple times, finally utters out, “Pike,” the nickname for Pi Kappa Alpha.

Sidenote, any bro who literally gets off on hearing that his frat is “the best” is seriously disturbed.

Anywho, Jezebel reported that the video is especially skeezy because (aside from the obvious that I’m sure the girl didn’t consent to being filmed or having said video posted up on Reddit), “the woman’s voice is slurry and her eyes do not focus…The woman appears to be on her knees.” I couldn’t really tell this from their video, since the woman’s face was obscured, but I’ll take their word on it. So the presence of consent seems pretty sketchy.

The video is bad, yes, but what’s worse (to me) is how the fraternity responds to it. Do they own up to how bad it was and promise to kick out or punish the guilty party or parties? Heck, no! This is America! Here’s what the Pike president at MSU had to say:

“We feel very bad for the girl in the video. We had absolutely nothing to do with the production or distribution of the video and we don’t think it had anything to do with Michigan State University.”

Wait, what? So a guy in the video says “What’s the best fraternity at MSU” and you don’t think this has anything to do with MSU? And the girl says “Pike” and you don’t think it has anything to do with Pike? Are you serious?

So who the heck did it then? Brace yourselves, I feel a conspiracy theory coming on. The senior marketing official at Pi Kappa Alpha, W. Brent Phillips, came to this completely logical conclusion:

After discussion with the local chapter and considering the comments on the video, the Fraternity does not believe this is a member of the Fraternity. Moreover, the video is an unfortunate attempt at defamation. The Fraternity regrets the crude display and lack of respect demonstrated to the woman in the video. It is inappropriate and certainly does not demonstrate treating people with dignity and respect. The Fraternity educates its members on expected standards of behavior and holds them accountable to those standards."

Ah, yes. The ol’ “rival fraternity posting a rape-y video online and framing another fraternity” for it prank. A totally real thing that totally happens in real life. So I guess we’ll just have to wait to see if or when the truth comes out. I would not be shocked in the slightest if in a few days we get a statement like, "Whoops it totally was us but like, #NotAllPikeBros." I'm not a psychic, just extremely cynical.

In the meantime, I’ll be thankful that I’m out of college and can’t go to any more frat parties. It's the little things, I guess.

Images: Matt Katzenberger / Flickr; iNathanael / Tumblr; Giphy (2)