Megamouth Shark Washed Up In Philippines, Proving Again That The Ocean Is A Terrifying Pit Of Unholy Horrors — PHOTO

So this is happening. This horrifying thing that will make you never want to go to the beach ever again, especially in the Philippines (sorry Philippines) is happening. This thing that will haunt your worst nightmares forever. WE'RE SORRY BUT NOT SORRY, WE CAN'T BE ALONE IN THIS TERROR, WE HAD TO SHARE IT. This is the thing: A giant, awful-looking megamouth shark washed up on the sand at Barangay Marigondon in the Philippines yesterday. Breathe. Just breathe, and be thankful that Sharknados are not a thing. The good news (yes, there's an upside to this) is that the Megamouth is incredibly rare, this being only the 60th Megamouth to ever be seen by humans. Although, that's 60 times too many, if you ask me.

The first Megamouth ever spotted, back in 1976, was described as having some bizarre behavior:

"It was in Hawaii that year that a 14.6-footer gulped down a submerged parachute filled with sand, which a US Navy ship was using as an anchor."

So the moral of the story is that this shark with swallow weird, non-organic stuff whole. Considering that a full grown Megamouth grows to between 4 or 5 meters, that's a whole lot of sand. So you might want to avoid getting tangled in a parachute full of sand at the bottom of the ocean.

Photo: katiekatramos/Twitter