It can be quite a decision to make: Watch the Super Bowl XLIX on NBC or Puppy Bowl on Animal Planet, which airs at the same time on Sunday. Or you could do what my friends usually do — flick between the two until someone realizes we might be missing an important, potentially game-winning play or an amazingly expensive million-dollar commercial. Usually, I get to see enough of the Puppy Bowl to say "awww!" a few times and then the TV returns to showing the biggest football stage there is for the NFL. If you get stuck in a similar situation, don't worry — Animal Planet will be replaying the Puppy Bowl three times throughout the day, at 3 p.m., 5 p.m., and 7 p.m.
TV Guide splits the Puppy Bowl into three different two-hour episodes, so that's six straight hours of animal cuteness. Then the network will replay it again, and will total 12 hours of puppies, kittens, and goats (yes, there will be goat cheerleaders this year). TV Guide lists the episodes as "Ruff vs. Fluff" (those are the team names), "Inflated Cuteness" (a reference to DeflateGate?), and "Most Valuable Pup" (but aren't they all too cute?). The site also lists the same description for each episode: "The 11th annual alternative Super Bowl and adoption fair features puppies romping on a miniature football field as Team Ruff takes on Team Fluff; a halftime performance by Katty Furry; goat cheerleaders; and an aerial show with hamsters in a biplane."
Well, that does sum it up, but each episode has got to be different, right? So I thought I'd take it upon myself and dream up what those segment titles might mean.
"Ruff vs. Fluff"
The competition is tough this year, since the refs will be keeping score. Team Ruff and Team Fluff will start off slow, but then get into a groove where one will finally score. That'll put the pressure on the other team — with cute offense and adorable defense. But winning this game won't be easy.
"Inflated Cuteness"
In the middle of the game, one of the refs will notice that a squeaky toy football was partially deflated. Uh oh — that's totally against the rules. Who did that? One team will have to be held responsible. Tweeting sideline reporter Meep The Bird will obsess over it a little too much, over-analyzing it and asking a lot of questions about balls. Once things settle down, everyone just blames New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady and moves on.
Meanwhile, Katty Furry rocks the BISSELL Kitty Halftime show and slips in a controversial diss aimed at pop star rival, Meowlor Swift. The hamsters riding in the bi-plane are just appalled.
"Most Valuable Pup"
If there's any award that means anything to these dogs, it's the MVP trophy. These canines will do anything to get it — anything. How far will they go? Well, you'll just have to watch and see for yourself.
