How To Hide A Hangover Once The Super Bowl Is Over, Because You Will Definitely Be In Pain Come Monday
Regardless of the Super Bowl's outcome, there's no doubt that your evening came to a close with an impending Super Bowl hangover on its way to your body. It's inevitable that you will feel like absolute sh** on Monday after the big game. You spent the whole day drinking too much booze and not enough water, and inhaling sugary, fatty, salty snacks that suck all the good properties out of your blood. I mean, what did you expect? Hopefully your favorite team became the champ, because then at least the pain was worth it.
However, if you are forced to face the world on Monday morning, in all your hot-messy, hungover glory, then you need to figure out how to survive. You will need to communicate with people, show your face, put on pants, and oof, it's going to be tough. This will be the worst case of the Mondays you have ever experienced, and the day will drag on for eternity. It's going to be a hefty taste of hell, so start preparing now. Here are all the ways you can attempt to mask how much your insides feel like flaming garbage. At least until you can get home and back into pajamas.
1. Morning shower required
Whatever you drank is seeping out of your pores, so no matter how hard it is to get out of bed and stumble down to the bathroom, you need to hop into the shower. It's the only way to mask your boozy stench.
2. Slap on the concealer
Even if this isn't normally part of your routine, you probably need it today. Your skin is dehydrated from all the alcohol and other crap in your system, so your face will look like you've aged 10 years overnight. It'll go away within the next day or so, but right now, you need makeup!
3. Rock an easy updo
Wearing your hair down will distract from the dark circles under your eyes, but if you can barely stand without feeling like your head is going to explode, then toss your locks up into a bun and call it day.
4. Flats are a must
You can barely keep your eyes open and head up, so maybe today is the wrong day to wear those killer heels? Yes, yes it is. Don't set yourself up for failure.
5. Brush your teeth, twice
Your tongue is desperately grasping the garlic from that dip and the fourth and fifth cocktails you probably should've skipped. Breath is a dead giveaway for drunkness and hungoverness, so put in some extra effort to kill that scent.
6. Drink all the water
Hydration will save your soul.
7. Eat whatever will make you feel better
I know, you just spent a full day eating items that have enough preservatives to last 15 years without spoiling, but hangover days are made for burgers and fries. Give in without the guilt, and save the healthy eating intentions for Tuesday.
8. Swallow those headache pills
Take 'em as often as the directions allow.
9. Avoid periods of extended verbal communication
I really hope you moved your conference calls and presentations to later in the week, otherwise you will hate everything and everyone.
10. OR, call in sick and wear zero pants
A lot of people will, because this needs to become a nationally recognized holiday. So if there's no way to get through the day behaving like a normal human in front of other humans, then don't. Turn on Netflix, curl up on the couch, and sleep the haze away.
Image: Hangover/Warner Bros.; Giphy (11)