Things I will not be doing this weekend include closely following the Super Bowl. True, part of the reason why is because I don't have cable; however, the other reason — the more important one — is illustrated perfectly in the video "Bad British NLF Commentary." That is: I don't understand football. At all. Not the tiniest bit.
But hey, you know what? It's OK, because at least those of us on the "WTF is going on?" front can turn our lack of knowledge and understanding into pure, perfect comedy. The YouTube channel Bad British Commentary's schtick is to take American sports and — you guessed it — provide terrible, awful commentary that reveals the commentator to have no idea what's going on. A huge portion of the comedy, of course, lies in the fact that it's bad British commentary; I often suspect that American sports look really weird to pretty much everyone else in the world, so this is how I imagine anyone from any other country processes them when they watch them. But the comedy is still there for anyone for whom sports are an absolute mystery — and as a bonus, now we have a way to show rabid sports fan exactly what we mean when we say "I don't understand what's going on."
Highlights include, but are not limited to:
- "Aaaaaaaand HE'S DOWN, buried under a bouncy castle of Spandex!"
- "Number 12 delivers the ball like a muscle-y postman, and CRICKEY, OH BLIMEY, 15 HAS SPLIT FREE! He's a speedy Teflon wizard!"
- "96 stares at his teammates' behinds — that help sends him into a hypnotic trance..."
- "Someone's lost his wristwatch... over there. Oh dear."
But don't take my word for it. Just watch the video below. Or wander on over to YouTube for more, and check out the Bad British Sports Commentary book while you're at it. It's totally, totally worth it. I promise.