Taylor Swift Valentines For Your New Single Life

Confession: when I first started writing here, I made some off-hand comment about how I loved New Single Feminist Taylor Swift, not realizing that, with the release of 1989, she'd become half of our editorial concert. And, though I've since written things about her that are gently snarky, even playfully ridiculous, it was a self-fulfilling prophecy: I DO love her. And since that love is mutually shared with a whole lot of people, I thought it was only fair to make a set of Taylor Swift Valentines. But these aren't your grandma's Taylor Swift Valentines. These are New Single Taylor Swift Valentines for your New Single Life. Why?

Well, although her life was not absent of love in 2014 (many Swifties can attest to that), it was void of relationships. She was strong, independent, and finding herself in a real way. As a routinely single girl who writes about ex-boyfriends, loves a red lip, and coincidentally has the same haircut (after bringing in a picture of her to my hairstylist and screaming "MAKE ME RESPLENDENT"), it was really inspiring to me. So, for a holiday so obsessed with romance, Swift is the best company for a lonely heart.

Also because if you're in a relationship I hate you, and you don't get any more things.

So, even if you're lacking a significant other, it doesn't mean you and Swift can't make the most of the holiday. We have some blank spaces for you, so all you need to do is write a name. May I make a few suggestions?

For the Fella Over There With The Hella Good Hair:

If this doesn't work, it's likely he'll end up grinding against your ass like 30 seconds from now anyway. Modern courtship is fun.

For Your Partner in Crime:

I could've used any talented member of Swift's girl posse, but, let's be real, nobody compares to Karlie Kloss. The two are basically twinsies, and, if people aren't writing fanfiction about you and your BFF, you're doing friendship wrong.

For Your Less Close Friend Who Borrowed Your High-Waisted Shorts in June and Still Hasn't Returned Them:

You're all into dress-up and sharing your closet, but you two aren't in the best place right now.

For Your Ex-Boyfriend(s) Who Were Liars and Dirty Dirty Cheats:

So basically all of them. Let's just pull a Myspace and give this out to your top eight.

For That Guy On OkCupid Who Wants to Keep Things "Casual":

I would break it out on your second date, just so he knows what he's getting himself into.

For Pizza:

Because inevitably, you need to pair your bottle of $5.99 Pinot Grig to avoid another vomiting-in-recycling-bin incident á la Valentines 2011.

For Your Favorite Cat:

What can I say? Of all the people in your life, she's always there when you need her.

For Your Other Nine Cats:

They are also there.

... okay, so being a strong, independent single woman is a mixed bag for all of us, even when you put Swift into that mix. But I have faith. You, me, Swift, and our collective swarm of feline friends will get through this, guys. This. Will Be. Our Year.

Images: Mary Grace Garis/Getty (6)/YouTube (2)