Invite Taylor Swift to a Dinner Party & This Will Happen: A Tale Told Entirely in Instagrams

In what will inevitably be the most important news of the week, Victoria's Secret Angel Karlie Kloss revealed best friend Taylor Swift is the one to clean the dishes after their adorable cooking adventures. This further solidifies my theory that Swift is the ultimate dinner party guest, equal parts ethereally magical and down-to-earth casual, with all the domesticity that promises you won't be cleaning up solo. She has that winning balance down to an art form, and trust me when I say I want to be a part of that world.

The unfortunate truth is that I'm one of the five people on this planet that is not best friends with Swift, so unless I can propel myself into fame, I will probably never experience that. However, I can rely the peeks Swift gives us peasants via Instagram as proof she'd be the best guest ever. In fact, if you string said Instagrams together, you can almost imagine what kind of crazy fun she would get into. Like giving a mouse a cookie, I would think it's a spiral of adorable whimsy and acoustic guitar sing-a-longs. Said spiral would probably go down like this:

If you invite Taylor Swift to a dinner party...

She'll show up on your doorstep, decked in some vintage-inspired glamour...

Maybe her hair will be in coiffed retro waves, her red lipstick game will be absolutely untouchable, and she'll probably be rocking an brilliantly patterned romper or a casual 1950's influenced Oscar de la Renta frock that costs more than your rent, even if you live in Williamsburg. "Sorry I look so sloppy," she'll say, bundt cake in hand. "I came straight from the gym."

...then you'll bake batches of sugar cookies together...

You'll feel wildly rebellious as you giggle and eat raw cookie dough, decorating each one with raspberries and sprinkles. She'll clean the pots and pans when it's all over, she's just a great friend like that...but you'll have so many cookies she'll have to invite all her famous female BFFs...

...and she'll have to invite all of her famous BFFs to finish them off...

Of course! This includes but is not limited to: Sarah Hyland, Lena Dunham, Karlie Kloss, Lorde and, Selena Gomez, depending on where they stand on Justin Bieber that particular moment.

...afterwards you'll all do cutesy make-overs and she'll NEED to Instagram it...

I mean, what's the point of being friends with someone if you can't play dress up and share it on social media?

...the rose wine starts to flow flow and then inevitably, the discussion will turn to boys...

You'll pull her aside, and be say in a hushed tone, "What really happened with Harry Styles, you know you can tell me, girl." And immediately she'll be like, "I wrote a song about it!" and you sigh heavily, in your head.

...then she'll have to play the song for the party, and you'll endure that for 3 minutes and 44 seconds...

"I like 'Blank Space' better," you'll think, but that's not being a supportive friend so you keep it to yourself.

...all this will emotionally exhaust her, so you'll start to turn it in for the night, making the dinner party into a slumber party...

She'll break out Meredith and Olivia to join you, who she creepily kept in her purse the entire time.

...and of course, you fall asleep to the sound of her knitting needles tapping...

Like the gorgeous fair-haired craftswoman she is. At first it'll be distracting, but as she insists that she needs to make a tea cozy for Ed Sheeran this Christmas, her voice lulls you to sleep. "It's going to have Lil' Wayne lyrics on it," is the last thing you hear.

The truth is, if you invite Taylor Swift to a Dinner Party, things may get a little cray...

If by "cray" you mean like a fairytale, star-studded PG-rated romp with someone who splits the difference between being part grandma, part 9-year-old girl.

...but who else would you want with you for a hungover morning-after coffee run?

It's a love story, baby just say yes.

Images: Taylor Swift/Instagram