Some people hate Valentine’s Day because they think it’s a soul-crushing travesty designed purposefully to make people feel inadequate, but a lot of folks don’t like it simply because they aren't into the traditional Valentines Day stuff: They couldn’t care less about candlelit dinners or champagne or flowers or chocolate or stuffed bears wearing sashes that say “I love you Bear-y Much.” But they might be more into it if Valentine’s Day were celebrated less by cheesy gifts and more by awesome sexytimes.
Whether the usual Valentine's stuff is your thing or not, there's no reason not to take the holiday as the opportunity to do something new in the bedroom. If you and your significant other are already hardcore into kinky shit, well...you’ve probably got yourself covered. But if you’re on the vanilla side (nothing wrong with that, honestly) and looking to spice things up a bit, the following list might give you a place to start.
But first! Take a moment to read this brief PSA: The key to a positive sexual experience is good communication. So if you’re trying something new with your partner—even if it still seems fairly tame—be sure to thoroughly discuss what is going to happen in advance. Decide on a “safe word” you can use to make a break in the proceedings. Again, you might not feel like what you’re doing is particularly wild or dangerous, but it’s always better to be over-prepared than to end up in a situation that makes you uncomfortable. Happy humping, friends!
Sensory deprivation can make any familiar situation seem strange and new. Try using a scarf or sleep mask to block you or your partner’s vision; or better yet, try going sightless together. (Just be careful not to run into any walls on your way to the bedroom.)
2. Use restraints
If you’ve always wondered what it would be like to be tied up, maybe it's time to stop wondering and just go for it. Try using handkerchiefs or neckties to bind your partner’s hands and feet, and have fun going to town while he or she is at your mercy. Just be sure that you’re not hurting your partner’s wrists or ankles, and that he or she can get out if need be. Your first experimental time isn’t the time to go crazy with advanced knots or positions. If you do discover a new fascination for rope bondage, find yourself a solid guide for beginners, or better yet, look for a class at your local sex shop. *The More You Know star flies across screen*
3. Go silent
Dare each other to be completely silent as you have sex. The injunction against noise will ramp up the tension and make you all the more aware of how much noise you want to be making.
4. Speak up
On the other hand, if you’re usually the quiet type in bed, challenge yourself to be more vocal than usual. If you’re worried about sounding silly, check out licensed sex psychotherapist Vanessa Marin’s advice about how to get started.
5. Take pictures (but be careful about it)
Have fun setting up a sexy boudoir shoot in your bedroom. If you’re worried about privacy (a very legitimate concern), buy yourself a Polaroid camera as a Valentine’s Day gift and go to town.
6. Play naked card games
Spend your evening playing strip poker. Or Strip Uno. Or Strip Monopoly. Just pick a game, make your own special naked rules, and play.
7. Play Sexy Truth or Dare
Write questions about your partner’s fantasies, desires, and sexual history on bits of paper and throw them in a bowl. Pull slips of paper from the bowl, and either answer the question, or agree to a sexy (and possibly naked) dare.
8. Go to a sex store together and pick something out
Forget flowers and chocolate—make a date of going to a sex store and picking out a new toy together. The process will probably be a little awkward, a little hilarious, and a lot hot.
9. Go to a fun sex store event
Many sex shops host a variety of events at their stores. Check your local store to see what’s happening on the days leading up to and immediately following Valentine’s Day. For example, Good Vibrations in San Francisco is having a “Sensual Touch and Intimacy: A pre-Valentine's spice-up!” workshop next week, as well as a “Hands-on Rope Bondage with Midori” class. Sure beats dinner at a fancy, crowded restaurant, right?
10. Watch porn together
If awesome sex events aren’t available in your area, make your own event by creating an at-home adult theatre. Sit down with your partner and discuss what you both want to watch. Don’t just turn on random Pornhub videos. That's a nightmare waiting to happen. Talking about what you want to watch together will be a turn-on in itself.
11. Whatever your routine is, CHANGE IT
The real key to being adventurous in the sack is changing up your routine, even in ways that might seem relatively minor. If you always, always stay in the bedroom, go get it on in the kitchen. If you’re always a lights-out kind of person, flip those switches to ON! Have fun, you wild and crazy kid, you!
Images: Giphy (6)