Spend Your Valentine's Day 'GoT'-Style

Even though winter just keeps on coming (at least according to this vindictive groundhog), the fifth season of Game of Thrones doesn't premiere until April. There are many things you can do to quell the absence of the exceptionally brutal fantasy series: you can reread the books, even though the next installment won't come out this year (WHY, George R.R. Martin, WHY). You can book a Game of Thrones cruise, although getting on a boat in Westeros usually doesn't end well — but, seriously, what does end well in Westeros? After all, when you play the game of thrones, you win or die. Also, if you're in London, turns our you can also win AND dine.

That's right — if you're craving more Game of Thrones, you can now satisfy your craving with an actual meal at the three "All Men Must Dine" pop-up banquets in London. HBO partnered with The Wandering Chef and Grosvenor Mixologists to host three feasts from February 13 to February 15, so if you've got a new beau and you want to impress them, you can take them to this romantic meal that features dishes worthy of "the lies of Tyrion Lannister and his proclaimed innocence, poached veal tongue with beetroot, "oldtown mustard" and horseradish." Sounds pretty dank if you ask me, and of course there will be flagons upon flagons of mead and cider.

But even if you can't weasel your way into earning one of the tickets for such a feast — each meal will invite only 12 diners, plus one guest each — there's some DIY, good old-fashioned Westeros recipes out there for for you. There are a few Game of Thrones cookbooks, like The Unofficial Game of Thrones Cookbook from Alan Kistler, which includes a recipe for Bran's Pigeon Pie. And it's made with real pigeon breast… which sounds disgusting, but hey, how well were the pantries — or larders — stocked at Winterfell? It can't be a Game of Thrones meal if you don't suffer a little through it.

But that doesn't stack up to A Feast of Ice and Fire , released by Chelsea Monroe-Cassel in 2012 as a companion to the George R. R. Martin's book series. Her website, The Inn at Crossroads , inspired the cookbook, and even lets you search recipes by region, from the Wall to the South. She planned out a whole meal here, and there are tons and tons more recipes on her site.

But while the Game of Thrones Valentine's Feast is shaping up to be delicious, I think the only advice when it comes to romance that you can take from GoT is the food fare. Let's be real: while war strategizing and murdering your dads is in the people of Westeros' wheelhouse, the same can not be said for their relationships. These folks clearly did not log onto Match.com.

There is, of course, the tragic and downright icky relationship between Jaime and Cersei Lannister. And anyone who gets betrothed to that little rat fink Joffrey is totally in danger. And then there's Stannis, who's in love with literally a hell demon who births a dementor. (Ah, sorry, crossing my fantasy worlds.)

So if you want to eat like you're in a Westeros neighborhood, by all means, go ahead. Cook up a Valentine's Day feast for your loved one if you can't make it to the London pop-up. But, pro-tip, do not try to marry them if you've sworn an oath to the Night's Watch or if they're your brother/sister, because that can only end in heartache and bloodshed. GoT is proof of that.

Images: HBO, Amazon, Giphy.