Entertainment

Proof The 'Poltergeist' Reboot Will Terrify Us All

by Maitri Suhas

They're heeeeere... the first stills from the Poltergeist 3D reboot. The new version is coming in July 2015, and, though it's sad to keep much of the same story from the original, it will also update it for a contemporary setting — and, turns out, that update is going to make it TERRIFYING. In an effort to try to mimic the greatness of the original's cast and crew — the 1982 horror flick was written by Stephen Spielberg and featured a PERFECT cast of Craig T. Nelson and JoBeth Williams as the parents of poor little Heather O'Rourke who gets snatched by the TV demons — director Gil Kenan and producer Sam Raimi mined the Pulitzer Prize winning writer David Lindsay-Abaire to pen the new script.

So how faithful will the reboot, whose trailer debuts this Thursday, be to the original? Producer Raimi said that it will still be a story of a family terrorized by poltergeists that come through the sinister screen, but the focus will be more on just how scary it is living in a world where technology seems to be barreling towards sentience. (Like, soon America's president will be a 3D printer.) According to USA Today:

Like the original, television is a conduit from the spirit world. But in 2015, the screens are bigger, packing more menace. And there are screens throughout the house. 'The original film commented on how we've let television get out of control, babysitting our kids,' says Raimi. 'It's only gotten worse with the handheld portable devices. Screens are everywhere.'

Screens... They're everywhere! Just look at the stills from the new reboot:

So the remake, starring Sam Rockwell and Rosemarie DeWitt as terrorized parents the Bowens, will be intensifying just how spooky our screens are. The restless demons use the TV screen as a portal between the world of spirits and our world. But what else could this George Orwell-esque horror story could have scare-ified? There are so many screens out there now; how could the rest of them turn against us?

iPad

iPad demons simply refuse to let the device turn on, so you're doomed to playing Candy Crush on your tiny, pitiful iPhone 5 screen.

Kindle

The devil inhabits your Kindle, and presents you with a challenge: you must read Fifty Shades of Grey once a day for the rest of your life, or he will destroy humanity as we know it.

iPhone

The demons will begin to command your autocorrect and send all your friends threatening messages, using data instead of iMessage. Demons will also erase all access to Emoji on your phone, rendering you absolutely incommunicable.

Google Glass

Angry Google Glass spirits will fuse their wearable into your skull, dooming you to a life of looking like a total (gl)asshole.

3D Printers

There's actually no way to make 3D printers scarier in fiction than they already are. Did you know those things can print guns?!

Images: 20th Century Fox; Giphy (5)