Who's Gonna Be a Dad On 'The Originals'?

You feel that chill in the air? It's October, which means it's spooky enough for The Originals to begin. Set in the very real city of New Orleans rather than the very fake town of Mystic Falls, the magic and mayhem is RAMPANT in the new spinoff. I will gladly sign up for another show featuring Joseph Morgan's Klaus, Claire Holt's Rebekah, more vampires, and more witches. Important note: CW aired the series premiere after The Vampire Diaries, but the show will move to Tuesdays at 8:00 p.m. ET.

I love all of the gorgeous, spooky characters already. Some more than others. Here's my ranking of everyone (as of the premiere), starting with my fave character and working my way down to the worst:

  1. Rebekah (Holt): Fiercest original vampire ever. She cannot be bothered by her dumb brothers' drama. When she's not in the most decadent claw-foot bathtub enjoying champagne and yelling at Elijah on the phone, she's ignoring his calls. UGH, I love her.
  2. Agnes (Karen Kaia Livers): When she finds out that Sophie and the other witches brought Klaus (and Elijah, unintentionally) to The Quarter, she is not amused. She asks why the hell Sophie would bring in more vampires when the local vampires are the issue. Agnes knows Klaus is going to be more trouble than he's worth, and that's why Agnes is the true H.W.I.C. (head witch in charge).
  3. Hayley (Phoebe Tonkin): Poor Hayley. She's a werewolf who doesn't know how she got into this mess. She wound up pregnant after a one-night stand with Klaus (a vampire/werewolf hybrid), making her future offspring something of a hybrid hybrid. She shows hints of an edgy attitude, so I'm all about her. I hope her baby is more powerful than Klaus. And I hope the baby overthrows all of the dumb vampires in The French Quarter, and then Hayley and the hybrid hybrid baby convince the witches to make every day Mardi Gras. That'd be a silly turn.
  4. Sophie (Daniella Pineda): A witch who doesn't have time for games. She's incredibly intense and I respect that. She repeats the plan of "you hybrid and you vampire overthrow Marcel and his vampires on behalf of us witches or we'll kill the werewolf and the unborn hybrid hybrid" (I'm paraphrasing), like, 73 times. Sophie has a plan, and she sticks to it. Admirable. Plus, she and her sister teamed up to conjure up that "if I feel pain, the werewolf feels pain" curse, which is a spectacularly witchy way to start the show.
  5. Elijah (Daniel Gillies): Sweet, sweet vampire brother. All Elijah wants is to do right by Klaus, help out Hayley, and be an uncle to the hybrid hybrid. The entire episode, Elijah runs around attempting to work things out with the witches, with Marcel, with Klaus, and with Rebekah. He loves family and cares about everyone. No one cares about Elijah, however, so all of his efforts are in vain; he winds up stabbed by Klaus. Will anyone notice/care? Maybe. What a sad sack.
  6. Davina (Danielle Campbell): We only see Davina for a hot minute, but whoa, is she SICKENING! Apparently, this witch has teamed up with Marcel (BOO!) but she seems very powerful (YEAH!), so I anticipate that I'm going to be obsessed with her.
  7. Marcel (Charles Michael Davis): The Originals (Klaus, Rebekah, and Elijah) fled New Orleans hundreds of years ago, so he stepped up and became the king of The Quarter. He's created a lot of harsh rules to maintain order (the most egregious rule is no witchcraft in The Quarter), so that kind of blows. He doesn't seem particularly evil, just a bit tactless in his witch/vampire relations-management. Oh wait, he killed Jane-Anne the witch. Never mind. I take it all back. He stinks.
  8. Klaus (Morgan): Ugh, what a TODDLER. He storms into New Orleans and is like, "gimme back my kingdom, Marcel," but uh, you left the place unattended, KLAUS. I don't know enough about vampire law to weigh in on whether or not Klaus has the rights to The French Quarter, but even if he did, he doesn't seem like someone I'd want running my vampire kingdom. Oh, as if that wasn't enough, Klaus is like, "I don't care about my unborn hybrid hybrid baby, kill Hayley and the baby." No one follows through on this, because Klaus is an IDIOT. Klaus finally agrees to the deal set forth by Sophie and the coven, but then decides he has to stab Elijah. Because if Klaus is going to overthrow Marcel, he can't do it with Elijah because Elijah cares too much about family. I hate-love Klaus.

If next Tuesday night doesn't bring me a bunch of witchy spells, I'm going to be sorely disappointed. And yeah, I hope Elijah is okay and I really hope Klaus gets some sense knocked into him. He's got a baby on the way, dammit!

Photo: Bob Mahoney/The CW