Gwen's Uncomfortable With Her Sexuality & IT'S OK

Gwen Stefani performed at the Grammys last night for the first time in ten years, joining Adam Levine onstage to perform their duet "My Heart Is Open," which Stefani and Maroon 5 collaborated on for Maroon 5's last album. Stefani's soulful performance reminded us of just how great she is, as if we could have forgotten. But one of the only people who won't accept and acknowledge Stefani's greatness is the 45-year old No Doubt singer herself. She recently told Cosmopolitan that she's "shocked" people still care about her, and in the March issue of Fashion magazine, Stefani revealed that she's not at all comfortable with her sexuality.

When talking about her long (and successful) career, Stefani also opened up about recognizing her sexuality, and said:

We have this sexual side to us that is alluring and powerful. It's a gift. When you discover it when you are around 14, it feels amazing. But you learn it's fleeting. Sexuality is something I've never felt comfortable with.

And even though it might come as a surprise that Stefani, of all people, is still uncomfortable with her sexuality even though she's literally been called one of the most beautiful women in the world, it's not uncommon. It's sad that Stefani feels like she was only confident in her sexuality when she was young. But even though there's the narrative about finding your self beautiful and becoming comfortable in your own body, which is an amazing experience for many growing young women, there's still insecurities that persist no matter how old you are.

I think Stefani's insecurity, though, is still brave; she's obviously managed to harness her sexuality throughout her career in her favor, even though she told Fashion she felt conflicted about it. She also said there are some lines she just can't cross for herself: "I won't be doing any topless photo shoots anytime soon. It's not my thing. I don't judge people for it, but I didn't even wear high heels until I was 30."

"I don't judge people for it" is the best attitude she could have; it's fine for others to embrace their sexuality in whatever ways they want, but that doesn't mean you yourself need to be 100 percent comfortable with your own. The fact that Stefani, 45, still feels uncomfortable isn't a weakness of hers, or anyone who feels the same. It's just a symptom of a culture that both shames women for sex and expects it from them. It's a tough struggle for women to feel comfortable and in control, even if you're as notorious and beloved as Gwen Stefani.

Image: Getty