Venturing out to your favorite coffee shop can be an… interesting experience. Sure, there are delicious beverages and soft, comfy armchairs — but there are also a lot of people (not so good for everyone out there like me who kind of, um, hates people). For all their variety, though, have you ever noticed how you always see the same types of people at every coffee shop you visit? I mean, seriously — sometimes, going to a coffee shop is like going to a zoo where all the animals are hopped up on too much caffeine and covered in milk foam. It's a coffee-soaked jungle out there.
Australian coffee supply retailer Espresso Works totally knows what's up, though, so they've created a handy chart to help you identify the wild beasts — er, coffee fiends — most commonly found at your favorite cafe. Although obviously no human being's personality can be boiled down to a single set of basic characteristics, these types of people do tend to rear their heads quite frequently — especially if they haven't had their daily cup of joe yet. I've pulled out four of my favorites here (and taken the liberty of illustrating them with GIFs, because, well, who doesn't love a good GIF?); head on over to Espresso Works to see the full chart. Oh, and did I mention that it also has a whole lot of fun facts about coffee and coffee shops on it? Because it does. Today I learned, for example, that Italy is home to more than 200,000 espresso bars. I wonder how many cups of the stuff the country serves per day?
1. The Stressed Out Student
We've all been this person: Cramming for an exam, trying frantically to finish a term paper, and chugging so much black coffee that we're convinced the stuff is actually running through our veins. Do not attempt to make contact of any sort with the stressed-out student — even asking if the seat next to them is taken might result in either a volcanic explosion or a flood of tears.
2. The Time Killer
Whatever reasons the Time Killer has for being inside that coffee shop, you can be sure of one thing, and one thing only: The coffee is inconsequential. Maybe they arrived too early for a first date. Maybe they miscalculated how long it would take them to get to their job interview. Maybe they're just trying to get out of either the cold or the heat for a little while. Whatever the case, though, you shall know them by their nervous disposition, their aimless smartphone usage, and the fact that they're drinking a small cup of the cheapest drink on the menu.
3. The Business Type
Who has time for coffee? The
Business Type knows its necessary, but rarely takes the time to
actually, y'know, enjoy it. Like the Time Killer, they'll spend their
entire time in the coffee shop tapping away at their phone; unlike
the Time Killer, however, their phone usage is full of purpose (those
meetings aren't going to schedule themselves). They'll probably order
a no-nonsense espresso.
4. The Coffee Instagrammer
Coffee Instagrammers appear to live in a world made of rainbows, unicorns, and hashtags. They drink only the most beautiful-looking cups of latte art — or perhaps more accurately, the order only the most beautiful-looking cups of latte art. They're really too pretty to drink, don't you think?
Check out more over at Espresso Works. Bottoms up!
Images: Giphy (4)