1-800-Flowers Pretty Much Ruined Valentine's Day

It’s probably not the best week to work at the 1-800-Flowers Service Center in Carle Place, New York. Folks are going absolutely bananas on social media with displeasure over various shortcomings in their Valentine’s Day floral arrangements, including but not limited to: jankity flowers, dying flowers, late flowers, dead flowers, ugly flowers, and bouquets so jacked-up that they only vaguely resemble their appearance as advertised on the company's website. And while I’m sure it’s quite irritating to have one’s Valentine’s Day surprise spoiled, what I find most fascinating about the situation is the array of reactions from customers: Some are politely irritated over their wasted money, while others are choosing to employ over-the-top dramatics about what is ultimately not a very big deal in the grand scheme of life’s great disappointments (war, famine, the series finale of Lost, etc.). I understand that people are mad and that they expect more from what is perhaps the nation’s best-known flower delivery service. But considering that the floral industry has a not-particularly-great carbon footprint as well as a history of poor labor practices and general corruption, it’s not like we’re dealing with angelic messengers from Heaven above in the first place. Here are a few examples of Very Important Complaints, with the customer service department’s very nice responses added afterwards:

The Reasonable

Well gosh, this sounds disappointing. $111 sure is a lot of money, and anyone would be as disappointed as this customer.

The Melodramatic

“You destroyed this day for me” is some soap opera-level mess, but I give credit to this customer for livening up what might be an otherwise average complaint. Bonus points for SHOUTING IN RAGE. And naturally, because this is America and no one can deal with their fee-fees getting hurt, he threatens legal action. Over flowers. Okay.

The Gross

HOLY CRAP THAT IS NASTY! This customer exercises a surprising amount of restraint with regard to what is in fact a totally grotesque experience. Yeeesh. No thank you. You’d think she would’ve gone on and on like the melodramatic guy above, but no. She nails it in just a short paragraph. Good for you, aggrieved customer.

The Saucy

Oh snap! Good one, aggrieved customer. “1-800-HeadAches” is a pretty sick burn.

There are loads more examples over at the 1-800-Flowers Facebook page, including these gems:

I encourage you to take an adventurous journey there and explore the rage of people who will probably just go back to ordering from 1-800-Flowers again next year, because it’s easy. (Side hack: Everyone should just order from OrganicBouquet.com, a fabulous site and company devoted to “environmental, social and economic sustainability.” Nope, they did not pay me to write that. They just rock.)

Images: Getty Images; 1-800-Flowers/Facebook