We're rapidly approaching the start of the 2016 presidential campaign season, with Democrats dragging their heels on Hillary Clinton while Republican challengers tentatively start lining up. One GOP leader, beyond all others, has most plainly signaled his intent so far: former Florida governor and presidential little brother Jeb Bush, figuring to be a solid contender. But not every demographic is naturally enamored with him — could a new political action committee possibly lend him a helping hand? Yes, it's real: the Millennials For Jeb PAC has Jeb Bush merchandise galore, and it'll appeal to you!
That is, it'll appeal to you if you're a millennial, because the designs are just deliciously hip and relevant. Over the last several years, a lot of people have tried to attach styles and trends to the so-called millennial generation, with varying degrees of success. But it can truly be said that nobody's mastered the form like the people behind Millennials For Jeb's dynamic, scintillating product line.
Okay, ill-concealed sarcasm, I admit. In all honesty, I'm a Millennial myself. Some of my best friends are millennials! And I don't really think this is going to fly, guys. But you've got to hand it to them: dream big, or don't dream at all. Here are the Millennials For Jeb products that can be yours today — assuming you don't mind supporting this kind of thing.
Millennial-Appropriate Jeb Bush T-Shirts!
Look at the detail, the craftsmanship, and above all else, the vision. There's nothing that screams "I'm a politically motivated person, and I'm ready to make a difference" like a peering Jeb Bush, all the better with his iconic first name emphasized underneath.
But maybe you're not into having a full-on image of Jeb's face splashed across your chest. Maybe wanting a slightly more conservative fashion choice — whatever happened to the classics? Well never fear, because you too can own a shirt that says "Jeb Bush President 2016" on it. I assume this appeals to millennials because of how wavy the American flag is?
Oh Yes, A Jeb Bush Flask
This is certainly an edgy choice, given the Bush family's relationship with alcohol, but sometimes you have to risk looking a little less responsible to look a little more cool. If you're carrying this around with you, I think you should be prepared to share — who could resist taking a swig while staring down the vaguely disapproving face of a potential U.S. president?
Jeb Bush Campaign Stickers!
Finally, all snark aside, some room for agreement — yes, yes, yes to the square campaign sticker. The era of the political bumper-sticker style has come and gone. They're aesthetic eyesores. Celebrate Jeb Bush with a square campaign sticker today!
Jeb Bush Pins!
Alright, we have a winner. Maybe I was wrong about this the whole time, maybe these really are the perfect gifts for any millennial. Basically the second that wearing this pin as an earnest show of support ends, wearing it ironically begins.
Images: Millennials For Jeb (6)