Are you so sick of the cold that you are just about ready to take drastic action? Well, you are in good company. In fact, the police in Harlan, Kentucky have put out an arrest warrant for Elsa, the ice queen from Frozen. Because, I guess, someone has to stop her from continuing to inflict the land with perpetual winter. The people of Arendelle aren't the only ones in deep, deep, deep, deep snow right now.
Weather in Kentucky has not been the prettiest lately — unless, I guess, you really like winter. Parts of the state got a full foot of snow this week, and the high in Harlan on Thursday was registered as 11 degrees. In other words, it's not totally unreasonable to think that Elsa might have accidentally put one of her winter curses on it. Maybe she's up on one of the mountains singing "Let It Go" as we speak.
Which is probably why the Harlan City Police Department have jokingly announced a warrant for her arrest. They posted on Facebook:
HPD has issued an arrest warrant for Queen Elsa of Arendelle. Suspect is a blonde female last seen wearing a long blue dress and is known to burst into song "Let it Go!" As you can see by the weather she is very dangerous. Do not attempt to apprehend her alone.
So if Elsa has built herself an ice castle somewhere in the Appalachians, she had best not come down for a while. At least until she's also made it stop snowing.
As winter drags on (and on, and on, and on) one thing is for sure: I'm with the Harlan PD on this one. For too long have we lived under the tyranny of winter! Drastic measures must be taken, and if rounding up fictional characters might so some good, I am here for it. Here are five more people we should definitely apprehend — or at least bring in for questioning.
Do I even need to spell this one out? His name is Jack Frost. We do not want frost, we want sunshine and balmy breezes. Lock him up immediately!
Frosty the Snowman
He is made of snow. And he's a talking snowman, so you know he has some sort of magical ability. Do we really trust him not to use it to ensure continual winter, especially since his existence is at stake? I don't think so!
I remember being made to sing songs about this person at some point as a child, and not much else. But snow is the enemy, and if she is part of the problem, then arresting her is surely part of the solution!
The Grinch stole Christmas, the only part of winter to actually provide us with anything good, AKA presents. Which, actually, is an real, legitimate crime anyway, so he should definitely be apprehended. Put out an APB!
I know, I know, wanting to lock up both Santa Claus and the Grinch might seem a little contradictory, and Santa Claus seems so harmless doesn't he? With his reindeer and his elves and the bringing people presents. But did you know Santa Claus used to be called Father Christmas, which is an alternate name of Old Man Winter? That's right, Santa Claus has been lying to us this whole time! He's secretly a wintry double agent! No! But yes. So capture him at once!
Maybe then we will finally see some sunshine.
Images: Giphy (5)