Anna Wintour Wants A Baby-Free Fashion Week

by Jamie Cuccinelli

Anna Wintour has spoken and babies are officially so last season. It seems the Vogue EIC thinks that children should be banned from fashion week. This opinion doesn't come as a huge surprise, given that attending fashion shows is a hugely important part of Wintour's job and babies, well, they tend to get in the way.

After North West let loose with a tantrum from the front row of Alexander Wang's New York Fashion Week show, a source close to the tot's unhappy seatmate, Anna Wintour, told Radar Online that "Anna doesn't think fashion shows are appropriate for very young children such as North West." Considering the harsh side eye Wintour was throwing when the meltdown occurred, this industry insider can't be too far off base.

“Bringing North to Alexander Wang’s fashion show resulted in everyone talking about her and not about the clothes," the source continued, being sure to point out that Wintour had the sense not to bring her children to fashion shows back when they were tiny tots, because doesn't a game of dress up just sound a wee bit more age appropriate?

I feel as bad for Wintour as I did for the poor soul who had to sit next to a wailing infant during that time I was on a 22 hour flight to Australia as a tot. And although Wintour didn't have to suffer nearly as long, girlfriend was just trying to do her job and the added distraction of a screaming kid was not something she signed up for. I mean, it's hardly North West's fault. She's a baby and baby's cry. But usually, parents try to avoid putting their infants in situations that would make them cry more. Ya know, things like large, loud crowds, blasting house music, bright lights, and having to sitting still for an extended period of time — all of which YOU WOULD FIND AT A FASHION SHOW.

Moral of this story? I think we should all follow Wintour's advice. And that's just the beginning. There's a whole slew of things that should be officially banned from fashion shows. Here's a few other things that you should leave at home before taking your front row seat next season. At this point, your sobbing baby goes without saying.

1. The Bright Sea of iPhones

As a society, we have this innate need to document and broadcast everything we see or do. But the obnoxious bright light of iPhones and straining arms crowding fashion week runways has just gotten absurd. How about we watch the show through our actual eyes instead of through the glowing screens of our always present iPhones? What a novel idea!

2. Weather-Inappropriate Clothes

At the risk of sounding like your grandma — put a freakin' coat on. It's cold out there! Your bare legs and crop tops aren't fooling us and, frankly, make you look a bit silly when you're standing knee deep in snow. We've talked about this one before but, judging by the craziness we saw this season, it needs to be reiterated.

3. Scalpers

Apparently, people sneaking into shows with fake or scalped tickets for up $1,300 a pop was a huge problem this season. How about we just make it a rule of thumb to leave everything illegal at home?

4. Giant Hats That Cover Your Eyes

JP Yim/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images

Don't do this to the people sitting behind you, ya jerk. Just because Tavi Gevinson did it doesn't mean it's okay for you to follow suit.

5. Your Superiority Complex

The fashion industry has a very distinct pecking order, but nobody likes the person who acts like anyone not sitting front row is meaningless. Publicists are not beneath you. Street photographers are not beneath you. Fashion bloggers are not beneath you. Check your Devil Wears Prada attitude at the door and just accept that Anna Wintour owns all.

Images: Getty Images,