It goes without saying that not one of us is ready for tonight's farewell to Finn Hudson on Glee. Details about the Cory Monteith tribute episode titled "The Quarterback" have been steadily making their way onto the Internet since the Glee cast and crew returned to work on the show following Monteith's untimely death in July and now, the night is finally here. I, for one, am entirely unprepared for what Ryan Murphy's put together for Thursday's episode. I have fully resigned to the fact that I'll spend 9 p.m. onwards sobbing uncontrollably and unconsolably until I fall asleep.
With that in mind, here are my suggestions for getting through tonight and its aftermath.
Prep yourself for the most comfortable position possible, perhaps by taking all of your bedding into the living room and piling it on top of yourself in a heap. "Wear the bed", and wear it proud. Or just get into bed. The more comfortable you are, the better for this situation. Also, arm yourself with an arsenal of snacks because the extensive range of emotions you're going to be feeling (which will probably range from nostalgia to full-on hysteria) will require a variety of treats. There will be nothing worse than not having the exact comfort food you need.
Also tissues, lots and lots of tissues. DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT, listen to the episode soundtrack (which I know you already downloaded) and/or watch the episode where Finn proposes to Rachel or any episode where Finn and Rachel have any cute and romantic moments together. Just avoid Glee at all costs because you don't want to be depressed going into this. Instead, there's the premiere of Once Upon a Time in Wonderland at 8 p.m. on ABC and The Millers, Parks and Recreation, Welcome to the Family, The Big Bang Theory to take your mind off of Glee until 9 p.m.
If none of these interest you, I know you recorded The Witches of East End on your DVR out of curiosity, so watch that.
Just avoid social media. I know we'll all be tempted to discuss with our legions of Twitter followers and Facebook friends how incredibly and debilitatingly sad we are, but just refrain. This is one of those situations where you shouldn't be allowed to have a cellphone, much like during an emotional, pre-midterms night of binge-drinking in college so you don't drunk-text your ex, you just don't want to do it, even if you think you do.
This is also in the interest of people that aren't ready or can't tune into the episode at its scheduled time tonight, don't force them to accept this before they're ready. There's nothing diehard TV-fans hate more than a spoiler, so don't be that person. If you're lucky enough to have company while you're enduring the heartbreak that is to be Glee's farewell to its beloved Finn Hudson and Cory Monteith, revel in it and maybe exchange hugs — you don't need digital consoling from someone you haven't spoken to since high school. Trust me.
Oh, and eat as much snacks as you want because you can and you don't have to feel guilty about it later. It's your feelings' fault, not yours.
If you can control yourself from having a full-scale social media meltdown, you're now permitted back into your Internet communities. If you prefer to not re-engage, that's okay too, no one is judging you for wanting alone time or having your full-scale meltdown in private. This episode is sure to be a doozy and we all know it, so we should all be a little more understanding of everyone's personal space when it's over.
If you can't possibly fathom the idea of sleep post getting your heart ripped out, watching the DVR'd episode of tonight's The Crazy Ones might help to put your mind slightly at ease. If you're feeling like it's too soon and like you'll never laugh again, there are lots of cute pictures of animals on the Internet that may not make you smile, but cute animals make everything better.
Start your grieving process. It's definitely a wise move by Ryan Murphy and FOX to have Glee take some time off after airing the farewell episode because the fans and cast alike need some time to properly work their way through whatever their process entails. No one would be ready for an episode featuring a celebration for Rachel landing the role of Fanny Bryce in Funny Girl and Kurt and Blaine starting their wedding plans. It just wouldn't be right.
So spend the rest of your afternoon (in between being responsible at work, of course) putting together a shopping list of your essentials from tissues to king-sized Reese's Cups and mentally prepare yourself for your biggest heartache since breaking up with your first boyfriend ever.