I Can Predict Your Coffee Order By Looking At Your Shoes

As a self-proclaimed coffee addict and sometimes fashion writer (and I think one could easily argue that the two go hand in hand), my recent discovery of Coffee N' Clothes on Instagram was nothing short of revelatory. The concept is incredibly simple. It's a collection of pictures of people holding cups of coffee, looking down at their shoes. And that's it. There are no other identifying features of the individual given in the photo itself, so all you have to judge a person is the shoes on their feet and the drink in their hands and the place where they're sitting. The partial anonymity of the whole thing gives the account a wonderfully voyeuristic feel, like you're getting a peek into a morning in a total stranger's life. 

Given the lack of personal details, of course my first instinct was to try to figure out who each of these people are based on the context (which, for the record, I know is a totally unfair exercise, but stay with me). There's no debate that your style is a reflection of your personality, and as someone who takes her coffee ritual very seriously, I am equally convinced that your coffee order speaks volumes about who you are as an individual. So after extensive analysis of this Instagram account and the accompanying hashtag — in addition to my general expertise as a coffee drinker and shoe aficionado — I'm confident that I can guess your coffee order based on your footwear. In an entirely non-scientific survey of Instagram, here are my coffee-drinking predictions based exclusively on your shoes.

Athletic Sneakers

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I once had a yoga teacher who told the class to imagine the iced coffee we'd be treating ourselves to once the class was over, as motivation to hold some really challenging pose. It worked for me, and based on Instagram, I'm not the only person whose primary incentive to work out is the sweet promise of iced coffee at the end. If you're wearing sneakers and leggings, I'd bet you're sipping on an iced coffee.

Converse Low-Tops

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Espresso shots and Converse low-tops go together like freelance writers and coffee shops. It's a super low-maintenance order perfectly paired with a super casual sneaker that still manages to seem chic.

Pointed-Toe Shoes

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There is a strong correlation between pointed-toe shoes and drinks with latte art, including, but not limited to, lattes, cappuccinos, and cortados. The trend is even more pronounced when animal print is involved, but no matter the color, there's something about a pointed-toe pump, slingback, and loafer that makes a lady crave a latte.

Designer Footwear

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Designer duds mean designer coffee, and nothing says "branded" quite like Starbucks. Women wearing clearly branded shoes, like Louboutin pumps or Chanel espadrilles, tended to be holding a cup from Starbucks, either hot or cold. I also noticed the Starbucks obsession among those rocking more high fashion styles, even if the shoe wasn't obviously from a luxury brand.

Sandals

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I had a hard time identifying what kind of caffeinated beverage was being consumed by the sandal-wearer because it often came in a to-go cup with a lid or a travel mug. There seems to be something about wearing sandals that screams, "on the move." Although I might not be able to guess your exact order, I can be pretty sure you're going to need that caffeine boost wherever you're going next.

Sandals With Socks

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In all my research on this topic, this is the only picture I found of someone wearing sandals with socks, which indicates that this individual is really just marching to the beat of his/her own drum. I can therefore only assume that if you're also wearing sandals with socks, you're a wild card and will drink whatever kind of coffee you want. (If I really had to guess, though, I'd say it's a drink with lots of milk and lots of sugar.)

Slippers (Or Bare Feet)

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If you're wearing slippers, or no shoes at all, chances are you're still at home, and all you have access to is your good old Mr. Coffee coffeemaker. And, if you're anything like me, chances are you've run out of milk and don't want to leave the comfort and coziness of your bed, so you're stuck drinking your coffee black. But when you're wearing fuzzy slippers (and are surrounded by dogs, as the case may be), it's not a terrible place to be, especially when you have coffee nearby.

Images: Olivia Muentercoffeenclothesallthingscoffeejadorefashionnktnewmsshinerblondesandmacarons/Instagram

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