Cracked's “Uber-Ex” Parody Video Imagines Your Ex As Your Uber Driver, And It's Super Awkward

The Uber smartphone app, used to book taxis using its service, is pictured over a parking lot as auto-rickshaws (background) ply a road in the Indian capital New Delhi on December 7, 2014. An Uber taxi driver allegedly raped a 25-year-old passenger in the Indian capital before threatening to kill her, police said December 7, in a blow to the company's safety-conscious image. AFP PHOTO/TENGKU BAHAR (Photo credit should read TENGKU BAHAR/AFP/Getty Images)
Source: TENGKU BAHAR/AFP/Getty Images

You've heard of Uber… you've heard of UberX… but have you heard about Uber-Ex? It's a new ridesharing service that ensures your driver will always be a familiar face. Why? Because the person behind the wheel is guaranteed to be your ex. Because there's nothing quite like getting picked up from your latest date by someone who knows everything anyone possibly could know about your dating habits, right? Fun times!… In that really, really not fun sort of way.

Happily, though, Uber-Ex isn't real (thank goodness, right?). It's a parody created by Cracked and Second City, and it imagines what it be like if your ex were your Uber driver. Is it weird? Yes. Is it awkward? Yes. Is it hilarious? Yes, yes, and yes. 

Confession: I've still never actually used Uber myself (all those ridesharing horror stories have made me think twice about using pretty much every service available). But given how uncomfortable I find regular cab rides with drivers who attempt to start conversations, I can only imagine how awkward a cab ride with someone who's just driving you around in their own car might be. Do they feel compelled to chat with you? Do they get annoyed if you don't have any desire to respond? The line between client and driver seems a little blurry to me, which makes the “AGH SOCIAL ANXIETY” part of my brain freak out a little bit. And when you add your former partner to the mix? Hoo boy. Worst. Car ride. EVER.

But I suppose having your ex as your driver might have a few perks. Things like these, perhaps:

1. They already know where you live.

...Because they used to live there with you.

2. The conversation you'll have is familiar.

You've already had it a zillion times before — in all its “UGH WHY” glory. Yes, your ex is still having problems with her sister. Yes, they are the same problems they've been having for years. No, no one has manned up and dealt with any of it properly yet. No surprises here!

3. It doesn't matter if your driver thinks your rude for putting in your headphones.

You broke up for a reason, remember?

4. It's A-OK to call your driver out on their creepy behavior.

No, you may not ask me whether or not I still have an IUD. It's none of your damn business because we broke up.

5. Making a quick getaway is encouraged.

RUN. GET AWAY WHILE YOU STILL CAN.

...On second thought, maybe I'll pass on Uber-Ex. Watch the full video below:

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Images: Cracked/YouTube (5)

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