It was like the Black Death walked into the Vanderpump Rules reunion when Stassi showed up. The tension was so thick that I don't think lil' Giggy Vanderpump would have even been able to walk through it. Before Stassi came out to meet the group, a few of the cast members asked in general if they could talk about "what she was going through." Consider my interest peaked, world. Tom Sandoval said they could talk about whatever they wanted, and so it began. But even though the cast kept referencing what Stassi was going through, no one actually said it, so now I'm twiddling my thumbs waiting for some answers.
The first topic I considered being What Stassi Is Going Through is her mystery boyfriend, Patrick. Patrick never made an appearance on the show, but supposedly he's a "real man." OK, Pinocchio. It didn't seem like Stassi was uneasy about talking about Patrick, so I can't see this being What Stassi Is Going Through. But then Tom Sandoval threw me for a loop.
According to Sandoval, he's heard rumors that Patrick will dump Stassi if she's in the same room as Jax. Yeah, that's crazy extreme and controlling, but I kind of get it? It's Jax... But Stassi quickly said that there are rumors about everyone, and once again, didn't seem fazed at all about that allegation... So another What Stassi Is Going Through is crossed off the list.
Then the issue of money comes up. OK, this could really be it, because money is always a super awkward conversation. Stassi supposedly called Jax asking for money, because he punched holes in her wall? I don't know what that's about, but according to Jax, he cut the check and it was done.
SO WHAT IS STASSI GOING THROUGH?
Leave it to Kristen to jump in and say that the rest of the cast doesn't know what Stassi is going through each day. Oh, yeah, did I forget to mention that Stassi and Kristen are FRIENDS NOW? Before the second part of the Vanderpump reunion, I encourage you to go outside and catch the pigs flying in the sky, because Hell has frozen over and this is the ultimate sign of Doomsday.
So what is What Stassi Is Going Through? Who the Hell knows? Well, I guess all the SURvers know, but when it comes to us mere mortals, we may never know what it is.
Images: Nicole Wilder/Bravo