Considering the fevered hush that fell over the theater when Chris Harrison announced the double Bachelorette whammy, I think it's safe to say that the best part of The Bachelor finale was Jimmy Kimmel and his present for Chris & Whitney, Juan Pablo the Cow. In what I hope becomes a Bachelor-nation tradition, Kimmel stopped by to see his handy work (he was the guest host the week Whitney & Chris crashed a wedding and started their romantic journey). And everything that came out of his mouth was an absolute gem. Chris Harrison had better watch out, because it's starting to seem like he might want to go off and write romance novels full time while Kimmel takes over Harrison's matchmaker seat. I certainly wouldn't complain.
And we certainly needed a moment of levity, because ABC's decision to choose two Bachelorettes and let their suitors pick which one they like better isn't sitting well with Bachelor-Nation. After all, the reward for watching one man make 30 women fight for his attention over three months is only worth it when we get to watch one of those women get the same privilege. It's all messed up, but at least it's usually doled out equally. In 2015, it's going all lopsided and I can only hope that when Bachelorettes Britt and Kaitlyn talk to Kimmel after After The Final Rose, he gives them the chance to speak freely about it.
After all, as we saw on the Bachelor Finale, Kimmel asks far more productive questions than Harrison (we saw you trying to get Becca to admit there was something wrong with her because she's never been in love — not cool, man). If Kimmel can deliver Juan Pablo the Cow, get Chris Soules to do his best "Ees OK," and follow-up "Have you guys had a fight?" with "Have you been making love regularly?" then Kimmel can certainly get some truth out Britt and Kaitlyn. Think about it: He did get sweet, demure Whitney to admit that she and Chris are doing it "As much as possible."
He's basically a Bachelor wizard.
Image: Rick Rowell/ABC
