Dan Harmon's Miley Cyrus "Gossip" Is Awesome

I was totally content to drop Miley Cyrus as a topic of conversation after Gloria Steinem's wise words about her behavior and that little feud with Sinead O'Connor, but, after reading Community creator Dan Harmon's comments, I'm pretty glad I didn't. In an entry on his blog, Dan Harmon Poops — real title — Dan Harmon shared some Miley Cyrus "rumors" he's heard being in the biz, after being prompted by a 15-year-old girl who is a fan of his podcast. What has Dan Harmon heard about Miley Cyrus? Credible things:

The rest is mostly rumor, I can’t say that I really know any of this for a fact. I have heard that she is taller than she seems on TV. I have heard that she is able to see in very low light. Someone told me that she is actually ashamed of this, and has had numerous surgical procedures attempting to “cure” herself of her special eyesight, which, to me sounds like more of a gift. I think I read somewhere - but please do not quote me on this - that if she is standing twenty feet from a tablecloth, in normal light, she can make out individual fibers, and that the FBI will sometimes bring her in to assist them on special cases, cases which are particularly time-sensitive, i.e., a human life is at stake, and/or a crime happened in a convertible with the top down and it’s going to rain soon, and they can’t wait for someone to look at fibers through conventional means.

Apparently, in those cases, the head investigator will say “get Miley” or “where is she this time” and it will cut to her finishing a concert, and she will look over from the stage into the wings, and there will be men in black suits waiting, and she’ll have this look on her face, like, “here we go again.” Because I guess she doesn’t get along with the FBI on a personal level, because they’re highly trained and very cautious people, and she’s just sort of a free spirit with these very powerful eyes.

As I understand it, and I need to stress this is all gossip, this is just stuff I hear in the kitchen at work, but supposedly, in the end, they get the job done together, in spite of their different approaches, and justice is essentially served.

Sounds about right. Dan Harmon is in the business, he knows a lot more about Hollywood than any of us ever will.

Now, I'm not saying that Community shouldn't go on forever and ever and also persuade Donald Glover to come back so Troy and Abed can ride off into the sunset together at the end of every single episode before filming their morning show, Troy & Abed in the Morning — because they should do all those things — but I have to say, I wouldn't be opposed to Dan Harmon's next TV show being a crime procedural starring Miley Cyrus as a girl with special eyesight. It'd be like Hannah Montana, only instead of leading a double life as a normal teenage girl, she'd be leading a double life as a forensic scientist when she's not twerking on stage at the MTV VMAs.

Don't lie, you'd watch this too.