Lena Dunham Is On 'Scandal,' But What If Olivia Pope Was On 'Girls'? Here's How She'd "Fix" Hannah's Problems
It is my professional opinion as someone who obsesses over pop culture for a living that there should be significantly more crossovers in the television world. There are things standing in the way, of course: A lot of the shows that would mesh well together exist on different networks, and a lot of the characters who would use council from characters on other shows don't actually exist in worlds that would work well within the same canon. And so, no, Girls and Scandal will never really meet, nor should they, really. But, with Lena Dunham appearing on Scandal for a guest arc starting Thursday, it's natural for the topic to come up: What would happen if Olivia Pope got her hands on the girls from Girls ? What advice would the notorious fixer give to these notoriously lost young women?
Olivia Pope and her world wouldn't exactly fit into most of what we see of the Girls world — it would probably shake up most shows if you threw that particular political situation into the mix — but when it comes to Olivia's penchant for seizing a situation and trying to fix something for whoever's in front of her at that moment you can pretty much plop her anywhere and it makes for an experiment in "handling it." One of the things that could hold Olivia's interaction with the girls Girls back is that we're not just dealing with everyday high-octane political scandal here; we're dealing with deep-seated emotional issues that should definitely involve years of therapy.
Still, I have no doubt that after some quality time with Olivia on their cases, each and every one of these girls would be clamoring to be a Gladiator.
Liv's first advice to Shosh would probably be a very emphasized "CALM DOWN." In Girls, Shoshanna's looking for a job right now and frightening practically everyone who interviews her, so Liv's services here could be as simple as sitting her down and running drills with her on how to interact with other humans.
Stop dating Zachary Quinto's horrible Ace, of course. Liv would also make sure that Jessa remains committed to her recovery, and could probably put her to work charming the pants off of everyone in Washington for the Gladiator cause.
I can see two clear things that Olivia would advise Hannah to do: Figure out what she wants to do with her life is one. Commit herself to viewing the world in a way that is much less self-centric. I also figure she'd advise that Hannah separate herself from some (preferably all) of the figures in her life who feed into her obsessions and bad habits — so Adam, for instance, would probably have to go, and a number of her female friends would have to take a back seat.
First of, girl, dump the musician, and definitely do not marry the musician. This is a disaster. Liv's hardly a shining role model when it comes to romantic decisions, but she should definitely set this one straight. She could also probably give Marnie some actually useful strategies of how to market her musical act — if anyone knows how find an audience's sweet spot, it's Liv.