'Vanderpump Rules' Katie Should Dump Tom Schwartz Instead Of Waiting For That Engagement Ring To Leave Its String

It isn't exactly news that the cast of Vanderpump Rules is the most incestuous group of people ever to hit the Bravo reality scene. First it was Jax Taylor & Stassi Schroeder and Tom Sandoval & Kristen Doutue, then Jax and Kristen, then Sandoval and Ariana Madix, then Kristen and James — honestly, I could go on for hours here and still not scratch the surface. The only couple that's remained the same throughout the show is supposedly soon-to-be-engaged Katie Maloney and Tom Schwartz, and I swear to God, if she doesn't dump him soon, I'm going to fly out to L.A. and do it for her, because despite the fact that Katie thinks Schwartz will propose soon, these two really seem like they should call it quits.

Of course, it's easy to say that as an outsider; one could argue that us viewers are just watching what the Bravo editors want us to see. With all of Season 3's drama about Schwartz making out with random girls in Vegas and Katie "motorboating a D," it was pretty easy to make them out to be the Worst Reality Couple of 2015. Here's why Katie needs to dump Schwartz, like, yesterday, in no particular order:


This is my number one Dealbreaker. You never come back from cheating on someone — no explanations, no second chances, nothing. And, not only did Schwartz cheat on Katie with some random girls in Las Vegas, he initially lied about it. It was only after Jax threatened to tell everyone that he Schwartz decided that maybe it was time to come clean, while he and Katie were out to drinks with Sandoval and a few other friends, no less.

He's A Self-Described Commitment-Phobe

In the therapy sessions we saw on Pump Rules this season, we got a load of crap of Schwartz about how he thought being married and spending the rest of his life with one person sounded horrible. Then came the "ring on a string" debacle, something that really upset Katie, and rightfully so. She said she had told him to never buy her a ring unless it was the ring, and what did he do? Ignore that request and buy her a ring on a necklace to "show his commitment." As Katie said, "that's not exactly what a woman pushing 30 wants to hear." Oh, and BTW, Schwartz is 33. At this point, it's not even worth it for Katie to wait around for him to propose, because he's basically shown her that her wants and needs are not important to him.

He's Basically Jax's Lapdog

Why anyone would ever continue to date someone who spends their days listening to Jax's BS and outright calls himself a "Jax sympathizer" is beyond me. Jax is manipulative and a downright pathological liar — one can only assume that continued friendship with someone like that would rub off on the other person at some point.

She Can Do So Much Better

I'll just be totally blunt here: Schwartz is a weenie, and Katie is the tits. She doesn't need to be lugging around some hopeless man-child when there are plenty of other fish in the sea who are actually worthy of her affections.

Lisa Vanderpump Said So

We all know that Lisa is the universal voice of reason, and if she thinks Katie is settling for Schwartz, then you know there has to be some truth to the matter. She's like the Grandmother Willow of SUR, if Grandmother Willow were British, wore six-inch heels on the reg, and died a couple of her willow fronds pink.

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