As if the Easter Bunny wasn’t terrifying enough on his own, we have a new enormous rabbit here to haunt our dreams. Luxury lifestyle site VeryFirstTo.com has released a giant chocolate Easter bunny that costs $49,000 — and it’s just as outrageous as you’d expect. And yes, you read that correctly… I said $49,000. Let’s all take a moment to let that price tag sink in before we go any further.
The giant chocolate creation, which kind of looks like what would happen if Donnie Darko visited Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, took two days to make, and was created specifically for VeryFirstTo.com by award-winning chocolatier Martin Chiffers. The chocolate monstrosity is 14 inches tall, weighs 11 pounds, and boasts a whopping 584,000 calories. Oh, and it also contains two diamonds. Eat it if you want, or keep it on display: this rabbit can apparently last two years, as long as a climate control of around 16 degrees is maintained.
Feel cheap yet for buying that drugstore milk-chocolate hare? No? Good. You shouldn’t! The online shop VeryFirstTo.com is a high-end service that lets users be the first to know about the craziest luxuries to hit the market. It’s not the site’s fault that there are people so rich and bored that they’d buy a perishable decoy to ward off the rodents in the gahhrden. (“Garden” being pronounced with an exaggerated ahh sound, much like Harvard, by the way.)
Not a huge chocolate fan? On the off chance that you do actually have $49,000 to spend, here are a few other things you might consider purchasing other than a bunny that looks like he was frozen in Narnia by the Ice Queen and her Turkish delights.
1. You could buy a boat
Like, this boat to be specific.
2. You could buy a home
You could purchase this house in Dallas, TX, and be an actual homeowner instead of a renter with an expensive-ass bunny that will melt on your window sill (because obviously you have to display it where people can walk by and gawk at how rich you must be even though you live in a studio apartment).
3. You could buy a precious stone
OK, maybe you can't buy the Hope Diamond, but maybe you'd settle for this gorgeous gem of a Tiffany necklace? At only $43,500, you'd actually have a few dollars leftover for extra spending money.
4. You could own a baby grand piano
We know what you'd really use it for. Isn't that Pretty Woman scene every woman's fantasy? Maybe not the prostitution part, just the steamy session on the piano part.
5. You could make a bean bag out of Gucci bags
Got $49,000 to spare? Why not purchase 20
of these Gucci handbags? Then you could put cotton balls in them or something, and string them together to make a cushion just because.
6. You could explore literally any other option
How about just save it and invest it in the stock market? Or donate it to a local charity? Not, the bunny. The money I mean. (My God.)