When I made the prediction that Zayn Malik's departure from One Direction would be one of this year's saddest moments in pop stardom, I severely underestimated the devotion of 1D fans. Just when it seemed like the old "dog ate my homework" line had no chance of losing its title of "Lamest Excuse of All Time," comes a story from The Independent that 220 employees reportedly looked into taking "compassionate leave" over Zayn Malik quitting One Direction. So, here's the thing — I don't intend to discount the feelings of fans who are genuinely struggling with the inevitable fallout from such a sudden boy band lineup change. Please accept my deepest sympathies, but to these adult Directioners: In case you were unaware, this type of job benefit is reserved for close relatives who pass away. Even if you know Malik personally, the fact that he's been spotted heading into a London recording studio since the announcement proves that he's moving on with his life, so odds are, you'll probably survive this ordeal too.
In the meantime, head on back into the office and try some of these methods to cope with Malik's 1D departure:
Hang a Montage of Zayn Malik Pictures at Your Desk
This is just a guess, but maybe shirtless pics will be more effective.
Listen to One Direction On Your Break
Do this until you've sufficiently drowned your sorrows. Have a good cry in the restroom if necessary.
Pretend You're Having Lunch With Him
Plan an Official Farewell Ceremony for Malik
Do this on your own time, of course. Hopefully this brings some much-needed closure.
Try and Remain Hopeful That He Will Return
Anything is possible, guys.
Work Through the Pain
Seriously, go back to work and keep earning money so you can buy their albums. If you're this down in the dumps over Malik's 1D departure, I don't even want to think about what will happen if you stop supporting the entire group. Images: Giphy (6)