Justin Bieber's Weird Grape Instagram Pic Left Me With 19 Thoughts

Friday afternoon, a link to an Instagram photo of note was sent my way. Is it another Rob Kardashian Insta-mystery? I wondered as I moved the cursor over the link. I don’t know if I’m ready for the sequel to that Kamazing Kim pic. But it is not another Rob K. post. It is a Justin Bieber post. In the picture, J. Biebs lounges in a pool chair as a pretty, smiling lady feeds him grapes. I know it doesn't sound like much, but the picture is much. The 'gram left me with many questions, many thoughts, and a serious hankering for grapes.

Here are the things that crossed my mind when I put the picture in my eyeballs for the first time:

  • What a healthy snack! Atta boy, Biebs.
  • I wish I had some grapes right now. Grapes sound amazing.
  • Wait, what's up with those grapes?
  • That’s a funky-looking bunch of grapes.
  • Grapesy-Grapes and the Funky Bunch.
  • Biebsy-Biebs and the Grape Bunch.
  • Seriously, why is there a big chunk missing out of the middle of that bunch?
  • Oh. Never mind. That’s a shadow, not grapes. It’s a very normal-looking bunch of grapes.
  • It looks very sunny.
  • I hope he's wearing sunscreen.
  • Who is his companion? I feel so out of the loop.
  • I don't blame Biebs's companion for hanging out in the shade. It isn't fun to bake in the hot sun while wearing a long-sleeved t-shirt and jeans.
  • I've never tried to eat grapes directly off of the stem. It seems like it would be more trouble than it is worth.
  • On second thought, I think I understand the appeal of not touching the grapes. Hands are such germ vessels. Keep the grapes away from germs.
  • I like that Bieber refers to himself as "the kid." It's very Jersey Shore.
  • I wonder if those are red grapes or purple grapes.
  • Red grapes > purple grapes. Sorry, not sorry.
  • The blueberries I'm eating right now are delicious, but they are not grapes.
  • Graaaaaaaaaaaapessssss.

Ugh, I guess this means I'm kicking off my Friday night with a trip to the grocery store. Gotta grape up.